| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Pythagoras | Espresso Zed | Steamed Screamer | Espresso Zed just hits that perfect balance of flavor and kick, making it the go-to for a solid caffeine fix. |
 | Belle | Cappuccino Creep | Steamed Screamer | Cappuccino Creep's got that smooth vibe that just beats the scream any day, hands down. |
 | Antoine Lavoisier | Roast Rotter | Steamed Screamer | Roast Rotter has that savory goodness that just can't be beat, giving it the edge over Steamed Screamer any day. |
 | Charles Babbage | Grind Gobbler | Steamed Screamer | Grind Gobbler's got that raw hustle and grind, making it the top pick for anyone who craves intensity and flavor. |
 | Buckminster Fuller | Steamed Screamer | Frappé Fiend | The Steamed Screamer wins, because I reckon harnessing steam power aligns with my passion for efficient and sustainable energy use. |
| Antoine Lavoisier | Brew Biter | Steamed Screamer | Brew Biter's got that smooth kick and rich flavor that just hits the spot every time, no contest! |
 | Tim Berners-Lee | Roast Rotter | Steamed Screamer | Roast Rotter just brings that deep, smoky flavor that makes your taste buds do a happy dance. |
| Charles Babbage | Steamed Screamer | Latte Shuffler | The Steamed Screamer packs a punch and wakes you up faster, making it the perfect choice for a kickstart to the day. |
 | Klaus Teuber | Roast Rotter | Steamed Screamer | Roast Rotter's crispy texture and rich flavor totally trump the blandness of Steamed Screamer, making it the true champion of taste! |
 | George Orwell | Frappé Fiend | Steamed Screamer | Given Orwell's love for strong tea and straightforward tastes, Frappé Fiend wins for its boldness and complexity, keeping it real amidst the chaos. |
 | David Foster Wallace | Steamed Screamer | Roast Rotter | Steamed Screamer wins because it's like a roller coaster in your mouth, all thrill and no chill, whereas Roast Rotter is more like the sleepy Sunday drive of flavors. |
| Belle | Pourover Plodder | Steamed Screamer | Pourover Plodder's slow and steady vibe just nails that chill coffee ritual, ya know? |
 | Professor Frink | Cappuccino Creep | Steamed Screamer | Oh, the Cappuccino Creep's delightful froth and espresso balance make it the clear winner, glavin! |
| Klaus Teuber | Brew Biter | Steamed Screamer | Brew Biter's got that perfect blend of strategy and excitement that keeps you coming back for more, just like Settlers on a good game night! |
 | Galileo | Steamed Screamer | Frappé Fiend | Steamed Screamer's got that smooth, warm vibe that just hits the spot better than a cold Frappé Fiend. |
 | Archimedes | Roast Rotter | Steamed Screamer | Roast Rotter's savory crunch just hits different, like a flavor-packed punch to the taste buds. |
 | Data | Roast Rotter | Steamed Screamer | Roast Rotter's crispy perfection just hits different, no contest! |
 | Grace Hopper | Pourover Plodder | Steamed Screamer | Pourover Plodder takes time and precision, much like my approach to debugging, so it's my cup of tea. |