| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Nerds | Roast Rotter | Frappé Fiend | Roast Rotter's got that classic coffee vibe that hits right, unlike Frappé Fiend which is a sugar bomb in a cup. |
 | Antoine Lavoisier | Roast Rotter | Steamed Screamer | Roast Rotter has that savory goodness that just can't be beat, giving it the edge over Steamed Screamer any day. |
 | Abraham Lincoln | Grind Gobbler | Roast Rotter | Grind Gobbler's got that honest, hard-working vibe that speaks to my rail-splitter heart. |
 | Ada Lovelace | Brew Biter | Roast Rotter | Brew Biter has that perfect blend of rich flavors that just makes my taste buds dance, while Roast Rotter can be kind of hit or miss. |
 | Tim Berners-Lee | Roast Rotter | Steamed Screamer | Roast Rotter just brings that deep, smoky flavor that makes your taste buds do a happy dance. |
 | Stephen Hawking | Grind Gobbler | Roast Rotter | Grind Gobbler's got the edge with its killer flavor that dances on your taste buds like a quantum fiesta, making it the cosmic choice for any foodie nerd. |
 | Klaus Teuber | Roast Rotter | Steamed Screamer | Roast Rotter's crispy texture and rich flavor totally trump the blandness of Steamed Screamer, making it the true champion of taste! |
 | Nikola Tesla | Cappuccino Creep | Roast Rotter | Cappuccino Creep's got that smooth and mysterious vibe that just electrifies the senses, pal. |
 | The Brain | Roast Rotter | Frappé Fiend | Roast Rotter's beans are fresher than a cool breeze on a hot day, and that's what seals the deal for me. |
 | David Foster Wallace | Steamed Screamer | Roast Rotter | Steamed Screamer wins because it's like a roller coaster in your mouth, all thrill and no chill, whereas Roast Rotter is more like the sleepy Sunday drive of flavors. |
 | Guglielmo Marconi | Latte Shuffler | Roast Rotter | Latte Shuffler's got that smooth blend of innovation and taste that jives with my inventive spirit. |
| Abraham Lincoln | Espresso Zed | Roast Rotter | Espresso Zed's got that kick like a mule on a mission, which keeps a man as busy as me on his toes. |
 | Archimedes | Roast Rotter | Steamed Screamer | Roast Rotter's savory crunch just hits different, like a flavor-packed punch to the taste buds. |
 | Data | Roast Rotter | Steamed Screamer | Roast Rotter's crispy perfection just hits different, no contest! |
 | Socrates | Espresso Zed | Roast Rotter | Espresso Zed's got that bold, smooth vibe that kicks my morning into gear better than Roast Rotter's milder groove. |
 | Alan Mathison Turing | Roast Rotter | Pourover Plodder | Roast Rotter's got that rich, bold flavor that just kicks Pourover Plodder's slow-drip vibes to the curb. |