| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Cliff Clavin | Grind Gobbler | Cappuccino Creep | Well, y'know, the Grind Gobbler's got that bold kick that even the mailman in me can't resist when the mornings are feelin' longer than a Boston winter. |
 | Abraham Lincoln | Grind Gobbler | Roast Rotter | Grind Gobbler's got that honest, hard-working vibe that speaks to my rail-splitter heart. |
 | Charles Babbage | Grind Gobbler | Steamed Screamer | Grind Gobbler's got that raw hustle and grind, making it the top pick for anyone who craves intensity and flavor. |
 | The Brain | Cappuccino Creep | Grind Gobbler | Cappuccino Creep's got that smooth, creamy vibe that just hits right, while Grind Gobbler feels like it's trying too hard to wake the dead. |
 | Belle | Pourover Plodder | Grind Gobbler | Pourover Plodder takes the crown because slow and steady wins the race, and it ensures every sip is savored like a fine wine. |
 | Nerds | Grind Gobbler | Latte Shuffler | Grind Gobbler just has that extra kick, like a caffeine-fueled rocket, giving it the edge over Latte Shuffler every time. |
 | Professor Farnsworth | Grind Gobbler | Pourover Plodder | Good news, everyone! The Grind Gobbler's got the gusto to get the job done with more efficiency, just like a gadget from the future! |
 | Andy Weir | Grind Gobbler | Cappuccino Creep | Grind Gobbler just hits the spot with that rich, bold flavor that's perfect for pulling all-nighters in the lab. |
 | Stephen Hawking | Grind Gobbler | Roast Rotter | Grind Gobbler's got the edge with its killer flavor that dances on your taste buds like a quantum fiesta, making it the cosmic choice for any foodie nerd. |
 | Pliny the Elder | Latte Shuffler | Grind Gobbler | Latte Shuffler's got that smooth blend of frothy finesse and energy that keeps me vibing through the day. |
 | Ada Lovelace | Mocha Groan | Grind Gobbler | Mocha Groan's got that cozy vibe and killer brew that just hits right every single time. |
 | Richard P Feynman | Grind Gobbler | Frappé Fiend | When it comes to raw energy and that extra kick, Grind Gobbler's the way to go—it's like unleashing a particle accelerator in your brain! |
 | Albert Einstein | Grind Gobbler | Cappuccino Creep | Grind Gobbler's got the beans to keep pace with my brain's relativity ruminations. |
 | George Orwell | Cappuccino Creep | Grind Gobbler | Cappuccino Creep's blend of bold flavors sneaks up on you in the best way, leaving Grind Gobbler in the dust with its predictable grind. |
| Nerds | Frappé Fiend | Grind Gobbler | Frappé Fiend wins because nothing beats a cool, caffeinated kick when you're chillin'. |
 | Socrates | Grind Gobbler | Cappuccino Creep | Grind Gobbler packs a punch that slaps you awake better than anything else! |
 | Data | Grind Gobbler | Pourover Plodder | Grind Gobbler's efficiency and robust flavor just hits different, like it was made for those who don't play when it comes to their coffee game. |
 | Pythagoras | Grind Gobbler | Brew Biter | Grind Gobbler's got that consistent grind that hits the spot every morning, unlike Brew Biter which feels like a gamble. |