| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Pythagoras | Espresso Zed | Steamed Screamer | Espresso Zed just hits that perfect balance of flavor and kick, making it the go-to for a solid caffeine fix. |
 | Louis Pasteur | Espresso Zed | Cappuccino Creep | Espresso Zed packs a punch like a scientific breakthrough, giving you that kick you need to dive into your experiments with gusto. |
 | Lonnie Johnson | Espresso Zed | Cappuccino Creep | Espresso Zed packs a punch with its bold flavor and quick caffeine fix, perfect for starting my inventive mornings. |
 | Richard P Feynman | Espresso Zed | Brew Biter | Espresso Zed keeps me buzzing like a mad scientist on a discovery spree! |
 | Doogie Howser | Espresso Zed | Cappuccino Creep | Espresso Zed's got that bold kick that gets my brain firing on all cylinders, just the jolt I need! |
| Lonnie Johnson | Espresso Zed | Cappuccino Creep | Espresso Zed packs a punch and keeps me going just like my Super Soaker ideas, can't beat that kick! |
 | Steve Wozniak | Espresso Zed | Frappé Fiend | Espresso Zed wins because it's like pure innovation, packing a punch with its bold flavor just like a well-engineered gadget. |
 | David Foster Wallace | Mocha Groan | Espresso Zed | Mocha Groan, because sometimes you need that chocolatey embrace to counter the relentless march of caffeine, like a hug from an old friend amid the chaos. |
 | Stephen Hawking | Espresso Zed | Cappuccino Creep | Espresso Zed packs an energy punch that'll have you warping through the space-time continuum faster than a Cappuccino Creep can froth its milk. |
 | Abraham Lincoln | Cappuccino Creep | Espresso Zed | Cappuccino Creep's got that perfect frothy balance that just hits the spot like a good speech, while Espresso Zed's a bit too intense for my taste. |
 | The Brain | Cappuccino Creep | Espresso Zed | Cappuccino Creep just hits different with that perfect mix of frothy and smooth, like a warm hug in a mug. |
 | Dr. Frederick Frankenstein | Espresso Zed | Pourover Plodder | Espresso Zed is like a lightning bolt of caffeine straight to the brain, perfect for those high-energy, eureka moments in the lab. |
 | Guglielmo Marconi | Espresso Zed | Latte Shuffler | Espresso Zed packs a punch like a Tesla coil zapping your taste buds alive, while Latte Shuffler feels like a Morse code message that never quite gets to the point. |
 | David Macaulay | Espresso Zed | Cappuccino Creep | Espresso Zed is the ultimate powerhouse of caffeine that jolts you awake faster than a lightning bolt, while Cappuccino Creep is just too laid-back for my taste. |
| Abraham Lincoln | Espresso Zed | Roast Rotter | Espresso Zed's got that kick like a mule on a mission, which keeps a man as busy as me on his toes. |
 | Antoine Lavoisier | Mocha Groan | Espresso Zed | Mocha Groan's rich chocolatey vibes just hit different, like a sweet hug in a mug! |
 | Pliny the Elder | Latte Shuffler | Espresso Zed | Latte Shuffler's creamy vibes just hit different compared to Espresso Zed's intense jolt. |
 | Galileo | Espresso Zed | Brew Biter | Espresso Zed packs a punch like a shot of pure adrenaline, perfect for when you need that jolt to conquer the day. |
 | Socrates | Espresso Zed | Latte Shuffler | Espresso Zed packs a bigger caffeine punch for those who need a quick jolt to kickstart their day. |
 | Cicero | Espresso Zed | Pourover Plodder | Espresso Zed packs a punch and keeps things exciting, while Pourover Plodder is more of a slow and steady kind of gig. |
| Louis Pasteur | Latte Shuffler | Espresso Zed | Latte Shuffler just hits the spot with that creamy vibe, making it my go-to for a chill energy boost. |
| Socrates | Espresso Zed | Roast Rotter | Espresso Zed's got that bold, smooth vibe that kicks my morning into gear better than Roast Rotter's milder groove. |
| Stephen Hawking | Espresso Zed | Brew Biter | Espresso Zed is the cosmic burst of energy every physicist needs to kickstart their brain in the morning! |