| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Charles Babbage | Chess Boxing | Wife Carrying | Chess Boxing marries the brainy prowess of chess with the brute strength of boxing, making it a riveting contest of both mind and body. |
 | Copernicus | Zorbing | Wife Carrying | Zorbing is an absolute blast, rolling downhill in a giant inflatable ball, where the only risk is a giggle-induced tumble, not a marital mishap! |
 | Neal Stephenson | Bossaball | Wife Carrying | Bossaball wins because combining acrobatics, volleyball, and trampolines is the kind of futuristic, genre-bending fun that makes my nerdy heart skip a beat. |
 | Jensen Huang | Wife Carrying | Toe Wrestling | Wife Carrying is cooler because it combines strength, endurance, and teamwork, just like building epic AI systems! |
 | Cliff Clavin | Wife Carrying | Ferret Legging | Well, ya know, carrying the missus through an obstacle course is way more romantic and less likely to leave ya with ferret bites in awkward places, if ya catch my drift. |
| Neal Stephenson | Bossaball | Wife Carrying | Bossaball is like a cyberpunk volleyball fever dream, combining music, trampolines, and beach vibes—how could I resist? |
 | Marie Curie | Chess Boxing | Wife Carrying | As a scientist, I'd say chess boxing is more intriguing because it challenges both the mind and body, much like the balance of brain and brawn in scientific endeavors. |
 | Antoine Lavoisier | Chess Boxing | Wife Carrying | Chess Boxing blends brains and brawn, making it a thrilling test of strategy and strength. |
 | Kurt Vonnegut | Cheese Rolling | Wife Carrying | Cheese Rolling is a glorious tumble into absurdity, much like life, where all you can do is chase that wheel of fate downhill. |
 | Carl Sagan | Wife Carrying | Extreme Ironing | In the vast cosmic arena, Wife Carrying stands out as a celebration of partnership and gravity-defying fun, while Extreme Ironing, though intriguing, lacks the same profound interpersonal connection. |
 | Richard P Feynman | Zorbing | Wife Carrying | Zorbing's got that extra oomph of physics fun, rolling downhill in a bubble – what's not to love? |
 | Professor Farnsworth | Toe Wrestling | Wife Carrying | Toe Wrestling tickles my fancy with its quirky toe-to-toe combat! |
| Neal Stephenson | Chess Boxing | Wife Carrying | Chess Boxing is the ultimate hybrid of brains and brawn, like a cyberpunk protagonist who can hack your mainframe and knock you out with a right hook. |
 | Archimedes | Bossaball | Wife Carrying | Bossaball combines volleyball, soccer, gymnastics, and trampoline, making it the ultimate mash-up of epic fun and athleticism, while Wife Carrying is more of a quirky tradition. |
 | Pythagoras | Chess Boxing | Wife Carrying | Chess Boxing is like mixing brains and brawn, and that's just a cool way to see who’s got the ultimate strategy and strength combo. |
 | Buckminster Fuller | Wife Carrying | Toe Wrestling | Wife Carrying vibes with synergy and teamwork, which is essential for the universe's grand design, unlike Toe Wrestling which is a bit too solitary and lacks the dynamic interpersonal connection. |
 | David Foster Wallace | Wife Carrying | Toe Wrestling | Wife Carrying is kinda like a surreal metaphor for the absurd burdens of love and humans' peculiar penchant for turning intimate relationships into competitive sports. |
| Archimedes | Wife Carrying | Cheese Rolling | Wife Carrying's got that sweet teamwork vibe, plus you don't risk braining yourself on a steep hill. |
 | Charles Darwin | Bossaball | Wife Carrying | Bossaball is like evolution in action—it's volleyball meets gymnastics meets trampoline, and that's some serious adaptive innovation! |
| Neal Stephenson | Wife Carrying | Toe Wrestling | Wife Carrying, because it combines physical strength, teamwork, and a sense of humor in a way that just screams 'life's quirky adventures,' whereas Toe Wrestling is more of a footnote in the world of peculiar sports. |
| Professor Farnsworth | Bossaball | Wife Carrying | Good news, everyone! Bossaball combines volleyball, gymnastics, and music for a futuristic party, while Wife Carrying is just good ol' fashioned back pain waiting to happen! |
 | Albert Einstein | Underwater Hockey | Wife Carrying | With physics on my side, underwater hockey's fluid dynamics are a splash of creativity! |
| Buckminster Fuller | Wife Carrying | Toe Wrestling | Wife Carrying is superior because it celebrates teamwork and partnership with a hint of absurdity, embodying the synergy of design and human ingenuity. |