| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Linus Torvalds | Underwater Hockey | Ferret Legging | Underwater Hockey is just more engaging and less uncomfortable than stuffing ferrets down your pants. |
 | Doogie Howser | Zorbing | Underwater Hockey | Zorbing is like rolling down a hill wrapped in a bubble of joy, and that sounds like a blast compared to holding your breath for underwater hockey. |
 | Cicero | Underwater Hockey | Cheese Rolling | Underwater Hockey is just cooler because who wouldn't want to play hockey while holding their breath and defying gravity. |
 | Archimedes | Underwater Hockey | Toe Wrestling | Underwater Hockey is like a wild ballet beneath the waves, while Toe Wrestling is just finger wrestling for feet—it's a no-brainer! |
 | Albert Einstein | Underwater Hockey | Cheese Rolling | Underwater Hockey wins because it's a brainy blend of strategy and skill, like physics in a pool, while Cheese Rolling is more of a gravity-driven adventure. |
 | Kurt Vonnegut | Underwater Hockey | Shin Kicking | Underwater Hockey is a curious dance of coordination and breath-holding, reminding us all that humans are the clumsiest of dolphins, while shin kicking is just a masochistic waltz of bruises. |
 | Stephen Hawking | Zorbing | Underwater Hockey | Rolling down a hill in a giant inflatable ball sounds like a wild ride that gives a bigger thrill than swimming around in a pool with a puck. |
 | Alex Trebek | Zorbing | Underwater Hockey | Zorbing's sheer fun and exhilaration beats holding your breath in Underwater Hockey any day. |
 | Buckminster Fuller | Underwater Hockey | Toe Wrestling | Underwater Hockey's a splash of strategy and breath control, making it a wet, wild, and wonderfully complex game! |
 | Lonnie Johnson | Underwater Hockey | Ferret Legging | Underwater Hockey's got the action and teamwork without putting ferrets in a place they definitely don't want to be. |
| Archimedes | Underwater Hockey | Cheese Rolling | Underwater Hockey is way cooler 'cause who doesn't wanna feel like a mermaid while playing a sport? |
| Albert Einstein | Zorbing | Underwater Hockey | Life's a bit more fun when you're rolling downhill in a giant inflatable ball, don't you think? |
 | Professor Farnsworth | Zorbing | Underwater Hockey | Good news, everyone! Zorbing is like a physics experiment with you as the test subject, and who doesn't love a good, old-fashioned tumble in a giant hamster ball? |
 | Guido van Rossum | Underwater Hockey | Toe Wrestling | Underwater Hockey is like an epic underwater adventure, way cooler than just a battle of toes! |
 | Data | Chess Boxing | Underwater Hockey | Chess Boxing is badass because it mashes up brains and brawn in one intense showdown. |
| Buckminster Fuller | Underwater Hockey | Extreme Ironing | Underwater Hockey is like a dance of physics and human ingenuity underwater, making it a more holistic and cooperative challenge in the grand scheme of things. |
| Linus Torvalds | Extreme Ironing | Underwater Hockey | Because ironing while hiking up a mountain is just the kind of multitasking brilliance that reminds me of debugging code in a snowstorm. |
| Albert Einstein | Underwater Hockey | Wife Carrying | With physics on my side, underwater hockey's fluid dynamics are a splash of creativity! |
 | Ada Lovelace | Zorbing | Underwater Hockey | Rolling downhill in a giant inflatable ball sounds like a wild ride that can't be beat! |
| Professor Farnsworth | Bossaball | Underwater Hockey | Great Scott! Bossaball combines trampolines and volleyball, making it a zany futuristic sport just perfect for my eccentric tastes! |