| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Andy Weir | Toe Wrestling | Shin Kicking | Toe Wrestling is less painful and more strategic, plus it's kind of hilarious to watch grown adults lock toes in serious competition. |
 | Kurt Vonnegut | Underwater Hockey | Shin Kicking | Underwater Hockey is a curious dance of coordination and breath-holding, reminding us all that humans are the clumsiest of dolphins, while shin kicking is just a masochistic waltz of bruises. |
| Kurt Vonnegut | Extreme Ironing | Shin Kicking | Extreme Ironing takes the mundane and makes it absurd, much like my own penchant for finding the ridiculous in the ordinary. |
 | Abraham Lincoln | Shin Kicking | Ferret Legging | Shin Kicking is more my style, being a rustic, historic sport with a dash of grit, much like my honest, down-to-earth persona. |
 | Nikola Tesla | Bossaball | Shin Kicking | As a lover of innovation and energy, Bossaball combines sports and music with a trampoline, making it an electrifying spectacle of creativity and athleticism. |
 | Linus Torvalds | Zorbing | Shin Kicking | Zorbing is more fun and less likely to injure your precious shins, which you need for coding marathons. |
 | John von Neumann | Chess Boxing | Shin Kicking | Chess Boxing brings the brains and the brawn together, and I'm all about that intellectual challenge mixed with a physical showdown. |
| Nikola Tesla | Extreme Ironing | Shin Kicking | Extreme Ironing combines the elegance of a well-pressed shirt with the thrill of adventure, just like my experiments with alternating current. |
| John von Neumann | Cheese Rolling | Shin Kicking | Cheese Rolling is an epic blend of chaos and fun, like solving complex equations with a wheel of cheese. |
 | George Orwell | Bossaball | Shin Kicking | Bossaball combines the creativity of music and volleyball with trampolines, making it a more exhilarating and less painful experience than shin kicking madness. |
 | Carl Sagan | Ferret Legging | Shin Kicking | Ferret Legging is a bizarre endurance test showcasing human folly, much like the cosmic dance of life, while Shin Kicking is just plain painful. |
 | Nerds | Extreme Ironing | Shin Kicking | Extreme Ironing is like taking the everyday mundane and putting it on steroids, making it the ultimate sport for thrill-seeking neat freaks. |
 | Archimedes | Toe Wrestling | Shin Kicking | Toe Wrestling is less likely to leave you hobbling around like a kicked can, and it's got the quirky charm of thumb wrestling but for feet! |
 | Cliff Clavin | Toe Wrestling | Shin Kicking | Well, ya know, toe wrestling's got that weird charm, like arm wrestling for your feet, and it keeps you more upright, which is great for a post-match beer, don't ya think? |
 | Claude Shannon | Shin Kicking | Ferret Legging | As a curious nerd, I find Shin Kicking's quirky, historical roots and tactical technique more fascinating than the sheer endurance test of Ferret Legging. |