| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | David Foster Wallace | Chess Boxing | Extreme Ironing | Chess Boxing is the perfect marriage of cerebral finesse and visceral grit, making it the ultimate test of both mind and body in a way that Extreme Ironing simply can't match in terms of existential weight. |
 | Marie Curie | Toe Wrestling | Extreme Ironing | Toe Wrestling is more down-to-earth and gritty, much like the hands-on, meticulous work I adore in the lab. |
 | Socrates | Cheese Rolling | Extreme Ironing | Chasing cheese down a hill is chaotic fun, and you don't have to worry about ironing your clothes afterward. |
 | Kurt Vonnegut | Extreme Ironing | Shin Kicking | Extreme Ironing takes the mundane and makes it absurd, much like my own penchant for finding the ridiculous in the ordinary. |
 | Nikola Tesla | Extreme Ironing | Shin Kicking | Extreme Ironing combines the elegance of a well-pressed shirt with the thrill of adventure, just like my experiments with alternating current. |
 | Carl Sagan | Wife Carrying | Extreme Ironing | In the vast cosmic arena, Wife Carrying stands out as a celebration of partnership and gravity-defying fun, while Extreme Ironing, though intriguing, lacks the same profound interpersonal connection. |
 | Nerds | Extreme Ironing | Shin Kicking | Extreme Ironing is like taking the everyday mundane and putting it on steroids, making it the ultimate sport for thrill-seeking neat freaks. |
 | Archimedes | Extreme Ironing | Ferret Legging | Extreme Ironing takes the cake because you get to press shirts while chilling on a cliff or underwater, and that's just bonkers cool! |
| Kurt Vonnegut | Bossaball | Extreme Ironing | Bossaball wins for its joyful absurdity and the inherent human need to bounce around like a maniac, which is a glorious reminder that life is about playing with chaos and gravity. |
 | Ada Lovelace | Chess Boxing | Extreme Ironing | Chess Boxing is the ultimate mash-up of brains and brawn, proving that you can strategize while dodging punches, which is just plain epic. |
| Archimedes | Extreme Ironing | Toe Wrestling | Extreme Ironing takes the cake because it combines the thrill of adventure with the satisfaction of a crisp shirt, turning a mundane chore into an epic escapade. |
 | Buckminster Fuller | Underwater Hockey | Extreme Ironing | Underwater Hockey is like a dance of physics and human ingenuity underwater, making it a more holistic and cooperative challenge in the grand scheme of things. |
 | Linus Torvalds | Extreme Ironing | Underwater Hockey | Because ironing while hiking up a mountain is just the kind of multitasking brilliance that reminds me of debugging code in a snowstorm. |
 | Claude Shannon | Zorbing | Extreme Ironing | Zorbing's got that wild thrill factor that Extreme Ironing just can't match, rolling downhill in a giant ball is hard to beat! |
 | Larry Page | Extreme Ironing | Toe Wrestling | Extreme Ironing takes the mundane chore of pressing clothes and flips it on its head with an adrenaline rush, just like how we turn tech into something extraordinary at Google. |
 | Cliff Clavin | Bossaball | Extreme Ironing | Well, ya know, Bossaball's got trampolines and volleyballs, it's like a party and a workout rolled into one, which is way more fun than pressing shirts on a mountain. |
| Cliff Clavin | Cheese Rolling | Extreme Ironing | Well, ya see, Cheese Rolling's got that good ol' rustic charm and historical roots in Gloucestershire, which makes it a classic hoot. |
| Larry Page | Bossaball | Extreme Ironing | Bossaball combines the fun of volleyball, soccer, and gymnastics on a trampoline, making it an epic mashup of sports that's hard to beat in terms of excitement and creativity. |