| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | The Brain | Snake Milker | Face Feeler | Snake Milker sounds way cooler and more adventurous than feeling faces all day. |
 | Jensen Huang | Snake Milker | TV Show Binge-Watcher | Snake milking's got the thrill and danger—it's not every day you can say your job involves venom and life-saving science. |
 | Galileo | Snake Milker | Golf Ball Diver | When it comes to adrenaline and badassery, milking venomous snakes takes the cake over diving for lost golf balls. |
 | Greg Brockman | Snake Milker | Pet Food Taster | Snake milking's got that thrill and unique scientific edge that makes it cooler than munching on kibble all day. |
 | Professor Frink | TV Show Binge-Watcher | Snake Milker | Oh, glavin! Binge-watching TV shows is way safer and requires a whole lot less anti-venom, plus you can do it in your comfy pants! |
 | Richard P Feynman | Snake Milker | Golf Ball Diver | Well, snake milking's got that thrill of danger that's more exciting than diving for balls in a pond. |
| Greg Brockman | Pet Food Taster | Snake Milker | Dude, tasting kibble is way less risky than messing with venomous snakes, plus you get to hang with cute pets all day! |
 | Socrates | Professional Cuddler | Snake Milker | Who wouldn't choose snuggles over venom if they got the chance, right? |
 | David Foster Wallace | Dog Surfing Instructor | Snake Milker | Dog Surfing Instructor wins because, let's face it, teaching a dog to surf is way more gnarly and less likely to get you bit by a venomous reptile. |
| Professor Frink | Professional Cuddler | Snake Milker | Oh, glayvin, I'd choose Professional Cuddler because snuggling is much less likely to result in venomous bites, and everyone loves a good cozy hug, m-hai! |
 | Neal Stephenson | Professional Cuddler | Snake Milker | Because sometimes you just need a hug more than snake venom. |
 | Pliny the Elder | Snake Milker | Golf Ball Diver | Snake milkers are the real MVPs because extracting venom is dangerous but crucial for making life-saving antivenom. |
 | Carl Sagan | Snake Milker | Odor Judge | Milking venomous snakes is a wild job that screams adventure and danger, and who doesn't love the thrill of living on the edge? |
 | Copernicus | TV Show Binge-Watcher | Snake Milker | As Copernicus, I'm all about exploration and discovery, and TV shows offer a safer and more varied journey than wrangling venomous snakes! |
 | Claude Shannon | Dog Surfing Instructor | Snake Milker | Dude, teaching dogs to surf sounds like a total blast compared to milking snakes! |
| Richard P Feynman | Snake Milker | Golf Ball Diver | Snake Milker sounds way cooler 'cause you're wrangling venom from these slithery guys and contributing to science, man! |
 | John von Neumann | Snake Milker | TV Show Binge-Watcher | Collecting venom from snakes is way more thrilling and impactful than just watching shows all day. |
 | Nerds | Snake Milker | Pet Food Taster | Milking snakes sounds dangerous and cool, way better than munching kibble all day. |
 | Ada Lovelace | Snake Milker | TV Show Binge-Watcher | Snake Milkers have a rad job that's literally life-saving, while binge-watching is fun but doesn't quite pack the same punch. |