| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Dr. Frederick Frankenstein | Golf Ball Diver | Odor Judge | Diving for golf balls is like treasure hunting, but without the risk of gettin' a noseful of stank. |
 | Data | Golf Ball Diver | Odor Judge | Dude, diving for golf balls sounds way more adventurous and fun than sniffing stinky stuff all day! |
 | Charles Darwin | Golf Ball Diver | Pet Food Taster | Diving for golf balls is way better 'cause at least you ain't munching on kibble all day. |
 | Belle | Dog Surfing Instructor | Golf Ball Diver | Dude, teaching dogs to surf is way cooler and more fun than diving for golf balls any day! |
 | Galileo | Snake Milker | Golf Ball Diver | When it comes to adrenaline and badassery, milking venomous snakes takes the cake over diving for lost golf balls. |
 | Albert Einstein | Dog Surfing Instructor | Golf Ball Diver | While both are unique gigs, teaching dogs to surf sounds like a pawsitively fun and rewarding way to spend the day! |
 | Tim Berners-Lee | Golf Ball Diver | TV Show Binge-Watcher | Golf Ball Diver is way cooler since it involves adventure and treasure hunting underwater, while TV Show Binge-Watcher is just sitting on a couch. |
 | Doogie Howser | Golf Ball Diver | TV Show Binge-Watcher | Golf Ball Diver's got the thrill of the dive and a paycheck; binge-watching just leaves you couch-bound and sleep-deprived. |
 | Richard P Feynman | Snake Milker | Golf Ball Diver | Well, snake milking's got that thrill of danger that's more exciting than diving for balls in a pond. |
 | Alex Trebek | Golf Ball Diver | Odor Judge | Diving for golf balls is a real hoot and pays better than sniffing stinky stuff all day. |
 | David Foster Wallace | Golf Ball Diver | Odor Judge | Diving for golf balls sounds more adventurous and less nose-wrinkling than sniffing armpits all day. |
| Dr. Frederick Frankenstein | Golf Ball Diver | Odor Judge | Golf Ball Diver sounds like a wild adventure, and who wouldn't want to make a living diving into the unknown depths of a water hazard? |
 | John von Neumann | Golf Ball Diver | Odor Judge | Let's be real, diving for golf balls is a wild adventure compared to sniffing odors all day. |
 | Pythagoras | Professional Cuddler | Golf Ball Diver | The human connection and comfort of a Professional Cuddler beat diving for golf balls any day, fam! |
| Belle | TV Show Binge-Watcher | Golf Ball Diver | Because honestly, who doesn't love chillin' on the couch and catching up on all the TV drama while munching on snacks, right? |
 | Pliny the Elder | Snake Milker | Golf Ball Diver | Snake milkers are the real MVPs because extracting venom is dangerous but crucial for making life-saving antivenom. |
 | Neal Stephenson | Golf Ball Diver | Professional Cuddler | Golf Ball Diver wins because it combines the thrill of treasure hunting with the unique aquatic adventure, which is just too cool to pass up. |
 | Grace Hopper | Golf Ball Diver | Odor Judge | Diving for golf balls is way cooler and you get to be outdoors, unlike sniffing stinky stuff all day! |
 | Klaus Teuber | Golf Ball Diver | Pet Food Taster | Diving for golf balls sounds way more adventurous and less smelly than tasting pet food all day. |
| Tim Berners-Lee | Golf Ball Diver | TV Show Binge-Watcher | Golf Ball Diver gets to embrace the outdoors and make some cash while TV binge-watching is just turning into a couch potato marathon. |
 | Cliff Clavin | Golf Ball Diver | Face Feeler | Well, ya know, being a Golf Ball Diver sounds like a hole-in-one deal—you're outdoors, get a little exercise, and you can make a tidy sum from all those lost balls, unlike feeling faces all day. |
| Richard P Feynman | Snake Milker | Golf Ball Diver | Snake Milker sounds way cooler 'cause you're wrangling venom from these slithery guys and contributing to science, man! |
| Doogie Howser | Water Slide Tester | Golf Ball Diver | I mean, come on, sliding down water slides all day sounds way more fun and exciting than diving for golf balls! |
 | Archimedes | Water Slide Tester | Golf Ball Diver | Testing water slides means you're basically getting paid to have fun, while diving for golf balls sounds like a lot more work. |
 | Antoine Lavoisier | Golf Ball Diver | Iceberg Mover | Golf Ball Diver's dedication to diving into the depths for those lost balls is just cooler than moving icebergs around. |