| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | George Orwell | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet | Tapeworm Diet | Consuming apple cider vinegar is a natural approach that might aid digestion, whereas ingesting a parasite is just downright dangerous and unsanitary. |
 | Pliny the Elder | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet | Breatharian Diet | Because the Breatharian Diet is basically starvation, while apple cider vinegar might actually have some health benefits. |
 | Klaus Teuber | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet | Tapeworm Diet | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet may not be perfect, but it's way safer than having a parasite in your gut, even if it sounds like something out of a medieval horror story. |
 | Grace Hopper | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet | Tapeworm Diet | Apple Cider Vinegar ain't the best, but at least you ain't swallowing a parasite to lose a few pounds. |
 | Pythagoras | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet | Grapefruit Diet | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet gets the nod for its versatility and potential benefits, but remember, it ain't no magic potion! |
 | Greg Brockman | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet | Cotton Ball Diet | The Apple Cider Vinegar Diet is less hazardous than eating fluffy cotton balls, which ain't food, folks. |
 | Richard P Feynman | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet | Cabbage Soup Diet | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet wins because it's more sustainable and doesn't involve eating soup like you're at some endless cabbage carnival. |
 | Stephen Hawking | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet | Werewolf Diet | Apple cider vinegar might not work miracles, but at least it doesn't rely on the moon phases to make you crazy. |
 | Alan Mathison Turing | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet | Sleeping Beauty Diet | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet gets the nod because relying on sleep alone for weight loss is too dreamy and ACV has some actual support behind its health benefits. |
 | Marie Curie | Grapefruit Diet | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet | Grapefruit Diet might be more palatable as it involves eating actual food, whereas Apple Cider Vinegar Diet has you sipping on vinegar, which is not everyone's cup of tea. |
 | Copernicus | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet | Sleeping Beauty Diet | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet beats Sleeping Beauty Diet 'cause sleeping all day ain't no healthy way to live! |
 | Doogie Howser | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet | Breatharian Diet | Living off air ain't practical, but a splash of apple cider vinegar might just keep your digestive system on its toes. |
| Doogie Howser | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet | Cookie Diet | Look, Apple Cider Vinegar might be sour but it's got more science behind it than just eating cookies all day! |
 | David Foster Wallace | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet | Cotton Ball Diet | Because chugging some funky vinegar might be a bit gnarly but at least it won't turn your insides into a lint trap. |
| Stephen Hawking | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet | Sleeping Beauty Diet | While the Sleeping Beauty Diet involves potentially risky behavior like excessive sedatives, the Apple Cider Vinegar Diet provides a more natural approach with some scientific backing for weight management. |
 | Jensen Huang | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet | Sleeping Beauty Diet | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet takes the cake 'cause it doesn't involve snoozing your life away to drop pounds; it's all about that tangy health boost. |
 | Guido van Rossum | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet | Cookie Diet | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet wins because it's got some science behind it, unlike munching cookies all day. |
 | Buckminster Fuller | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet | Sleeping Beauty Diet | The Apple Cider Vinegar Diet is less extreme and promotes small, sustainable changes instead of excessive sleep to avoid eating, making it a healthier choice. |
 | Belle | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet | Cookie Diet | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet is better 'cause it ain't just about chowing down cookies; it's got more potential health perks even if it tastes a bit funky. |
 | Charles Darwin | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet | Tapeworm Diet | Going with the Apple Cider Vinegar Diet because, unlike inviting parasitic worms into your body, a little ACV ain't gonna mess you up in the long run. |
 | Socrates | Grapefruit Diet | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet | Grapefruit Diet wins because it's like a refreshing burst of citrus sunshine compared to sipping on sour vinegar. |
| Belle | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet | Breatharian Diet | Breatharian Diet is just starving yourself; at least Apple Cider Vinegar Diet has actual food involved, so it's way safer. |
| Doogie Howser | Apple Cider Vinegar Diet | Werewolf Diet | The Apple Cider Vinegar Diet is a bit more realistic and sustainable; Werewolf Diet vibes are just too out there, like a full moon rave. |