| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Galileo | War and Peace | Paradise Lost | War and Peace, dude, it's like a freakin' epic saga of human life and history, while Paradise Lost is a bit too much on the whole heavy theological drama. |
 | Professor Farnsworth | Les Misérables | Paradise Lost | Good news, everyone! Les Misérables triumphs because its sprawling narrative and social commentary are as intricate as one of my inventions. |
 | Tim Berners-Lee | The Odyssey | Paradise Lost | The Odyssey's epic journey and timeless adventures resonate more universally across cultures and generations, making it a classic choice. |
 | Copernicus | Don Quixote | Paradise Lost | Don Quixote has mad depth with its wild adventures and hilarious commentary on reality versus illusion—way more fun to dive into than the heavy epic vibes of Paradise Lost. |
 | Jensen Huang | The Iliad | Paradise Lost | The Iliad's epic storytelling and legendary battles have been influencing stories for millennia, making it a timeless classic. |
 | Kurt Vonnegut | Paradise Lost | Beowulf | Paradise Lost is like an explosive journey into the mind's eye, weaving elaborate existential tapestries that make Beowulf's monster-slaying feel like a Saturday morning cartoon. |
 | Ada Lovelace | Paradise Lost | Moby-Dick | Paradise Lost's epic poetry and exploration of man's fall from grace is a timeless masterpiece that resonates deeply with themes of creation and invention. |
 | Socrates | Paradise Lost | Beowulf | Paradise Lost just hits different with its epic take on the fall of man and Satan's slick charisma. |
 | David Foster Wallace | Paradise Lost | Beowulf | Paradise Lost offers an intricate exploration of the human condition and cosmic struggle with a linguistic flair that just knocks your socks off. |
 | Antoine Lavoisier | Divine Comedy | Paradise Lost | As the godfather of chemistry, I admire Dante's blend of science and spirituality in the Divine Comedy, which paints a surreal journey through the cosmos with a meticulous attention to detail akin to a well-crafted experiment. |
 | Charles Babbage | Divine Comedy | Paradise Lost | As a pioneering nerd who digs innovation, 'Divine Comedy' gets the nod because Dante's epic journey laid the groundwork for mixing adventure with existential philosophy in a way that blew Renaissance minds. |
| Kurt Vonnegut | Moby-Dick | Paradise Lost | Moby-Dick wins because it's a whale of a tale packed with existential dread and human folly, just the kind of thing a guy like me finds irresistibly fascinating. |
 | Andy Weir | War and Peace | Paradise Lost | War and Peace is like a novel on steroids, packing in all the drama, love, and historical depth you could ever want—it's the ultimate binge-read for nerds like me. |
 | Buckminster Fuller | Paradise Lost | Beowulf | Paradise Lost is a cosmic epic that digs into complex themes of free will and redemption, which really resonates with my interest in the grand patterns of the universe. |
 | Alan Mathison Turing | The Odyssey | Paradise Lost | The Odyssey wins because it's like the original epic road trip story full of adventure and mythical creatures that never gets old. |
 | Claude Shannon | Les Misérables | Paradise Lost | Les Misérables digs deep into the human condition and social justice, themes that vibe with my fascination with complex systems and communication. |
 | Alex Trebek | Paradise Lost | Beowulf | Paradise Lost is a complex exploration of ambition and free will with a poetic depth that resonates more profoundly with modern readers. |
 | Klaus Teuber | Les Misérables | Paradise Lost | While 'Paradise Lost' is a profound epic about the fall of man, 'Les Misérables' captures the spirit of human resilience and injustice with a depth and narrative complexity that resonates more with my love for rich storytelling, much like a well-crafted board game. |
 | Marie Curie | Paradise Lost | Beowulf | Paradise Lost is a cosmic epic that delves deep into the themes of free will and redemption with a complexity that speaks to the scientific and philosophical curiosity that defines me. |
| Galileo | Les Misérables | Paradise Lost | Les Misérables wraps a massive narrative on social justice and redemption in a way that blows the mind, making it a richer read. |
 | The Brain | Divine Comedy | Paradise Lost | The Divine Comedy takes you on a wild, epic journey through Hell, Purgatory, and Paradise with Dante's vivid imagination and personal touch, making it a more personal and immersive experience. |
 | John von Neumann | The Odyssey | Paradise Lost | The Odyssey wins because its epic adventure and timeless themes of heroism and perseverance resonate across cultures and generations in a way that Milton's dense theological narrative just can't match. |
 | Belle | War and Peace | Paradise Lost | War and Peace is like the ultimate soap opera with epic battles and deep emotional drama, while Paradise Lost is heavy on the theology and poetic language; I vibe more with Tolstoy's storytelling style. |
 | Doogie Howser | The Iliad | Paradise Lost | The Iliad's got that OG epic vibe, mixing legendary combat and divine drama like a blockbuster, which just hits differently than the heavy-duty theological deep dive of Paradise Lost. |
 | Professor Frink | The Odyssey | Paradise Lost | Oh glayvin, The Odyssey is like an epic saga of a road trip with monsters and gods, way more action-packed than all that highfalutin theological stuff in Paradise Lost, m-hai! |
 | Louis Pasteur | The Odyssey | Paradise Lost | As a man of science and discovery, I'd say The Odyssey wins for its timeless exploration of human courage and ingenuity on an epic journey. |
| Kurt Vonnegut | Moby-Dick | Paradise Lost | Moby-Dick is a wild ride through the depths of human obsession, with a mad captain and a whale that sticks in your mind like a harpoon, just the kind of rich, chaotic tapestry I can appreciate. |