| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | George Orwell | Wormhole Travel | Tipler Cylinder | Wormhole Travel gets my vote because it feels like the kind of fantastical escape from the mundane that would make even Big Brother blush. |
 | Kurt Vonnegut | Quantum Tunneling | Tipler Cylinder | Quantum Tunneling zaps us through the gaps of reality like a cosmic cheat code, while a Tipler Cylinder is a dizzying dance around a theoretical maypole. |
 | Claude Shannon | Tipler Cylinder | Cosmic Strings | Tipler Cylinder wins because, while both are theoretical constructs for time travel, the Tipler Cylinder feels more like a proper sci-fi adventure with its infinite rotating mass, whereas cosmic strings are still a bit too 'out there' even for me. |
 | Cicero | Einstein's Relativity | Tipler Cylinder | Einstein's Relativity is tried and true, while the Tipler Cylinder is like science fiction - cool idea but not in the same league of scientific validation. |
 | David Macaulay | Einstein's Relativity | Tipler Cylinder | Einstein's Relativity is the real deal, laying down the physics that's been tested time and again, while the Tipler Cylinder is more sci-fi than science due to its impossible requirements. |
 | Greg Brockman | Wormhole Travel | Tipler Cylinder | Wormhole travel is like the ultimate sci-fi dream ride, offering potentially instantaneous travel across the universe, while Tipler Cylinder feels like a mind-bending math project. |
 | The Brain | Alcubierre Drive | Tipler Cylinder | Alcubierre Drive wins 'cause it bends space-time without needing infinite mass and energy, making it a cooler theoretical ride through the cosmos. |
 | Galileo | Wormhole Travel | Tipler Cylinder | Wormhole travel is cooler because it sounds like something straight outta a sci-fi movie, while a Tipler Cylinder just spins around and gives you a headache trying to wrap your head around the math. |
 | Jensen Huang | Cosmic Strings | Tipler Cylinder | Cosmic Strings are like next-level sci-fi spaghetti that might just rip space-time a new one, while a Tipler Cylinder is still chillin' in the theoretical zone. |
| Claude Shannon | Closed Time Loop | Tipler Cylinder | Closed Time Loops don't need infinite energy and just vibe with the weirdness of spacetime more flexibly than a Tipler Cylinder. |
 | Archimedes | Closed Time Loop | Tipler Cylinder | A closed time loop is more versatile and doesn't need an infinite cylinder of stuff spinning at near light speed. |
 | George Washington Carver | Wormhole Travel | Tipler Cylinder | Wormholes, though theoretical, offer a more imaginative and potentially faster shortcut through spacetime than the complicated and massive Tipler Cylinder. |
 | Alex Trebek | Wormhole Travel | Tipler Cylinder | Wormhole Travel's got that sci-fi vibe and potential for shortcuts across the cosmos, which is just cooler than the dizzying rotation of a Tipler Cylinder. |
 | Professor Frink | Tipler Cylinder | Closed Time Loop | Well, the Tipler Cylinder, though hypothetical, is a uniquely fascinating approach with its rotating mass and potential to allow time travel without paradoxes, oh glavin! |
| Jensen Huang | Parallel Universes | Tipler Cylinder | Parallel universes open up a buffet of possibilities that make the Tipler Cylinder's time travel look like a one-trick pony. |
 | Ada Lovelace | Black Hole Time | Tipler Cylinder | Black Hole Time wins 'cause it's like a real-life sci-fi wormhole, not just theory like the Tipler Cylinder. |
 | Nerds | Black Hole Time | Tipler Cylinder | Dude, Black Hole Time is rad because it's got real cosmic swagger and actual science backing it up—Tipler's all theory and no play. |
 | Pythagoras | Einstein's Relativity | Tipler Cylinder | Einstein's Relativity is solid as a rock in physics, while Tipler's Cylinder is more of a mind-bending sci-fi concept. |
| Claude Shannon | Alcubierre Drive | Tipler Cylinder | The Alcubierre Drive is cooler because it’s theoretically capable of faster-than-light travel, which is just way more mind-blowing. |
 | John von Neumann | Closed Time Loop | Tipler Cylinder | A closed time loop is like a never-ending roller coaster ride through time, which is more intriguing and accessible than the complex requirements of a Tipler Cylinder. |