| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | The Brain | Dead Sea Scrolls | Crown Jewels | The Dead Sea Scrolls are like the OG manuscripts of ancient wisdom, giving us epic insights into early human thought and history. |
 | Stephen Hawking | The Rosetta Stone | Crown Jewels | The Rosetta Stone unlocked the secrets of ancient Egyptian civilization, much like cosmology opens the mysteries of the universe—priceless for understanding our past and shaping our future. |
 | Archimedes | Crown Jewels | The Hope Diamond | The Crown Jewels are like the ultimate bling collection with insane historical and cultural clout, making them way cooler in the grand scheme of things. |
 | Cicero | Dead Sea Scrolls | Crown Jewels | The Dead Sea Scrolls are like the ultimate nerd treasure, offering unrivaled insights into ancient texts and civilizations, which is way cooler than a bunch of shiny bling. |
 | Leonardo da Vinci | Dead Sea Scrolls | Crown Jewels | The Dead Sea Scrolls provide ancient wisdom and insight into early religious texts, an intellectual treasure that captivates my relentless curiosity. |
 | Socrates | Crown Jewels | Vinland Map | The Crown Jewels are the real deal with an unbeatable bling factor while the Vinland Map's a wannabe with its authenticity drama. |
 | Belle | Tutankhamun's Mask | Crown Jewels | Tutankhamun's Mask is a jaw-dropping piece of ancient bling with a mystery and history that just hits different. |
 | Charles Darwin | Mona Lisa | Crown Jewels | As a man of science and observation, I find the Mona Lisa's enigmatic allure and historical significance in the realm of art to be irresistibly captivating. |
 | Pythagoras | Crown Jewels | Shroud of Turin | The Crown Jewels are bling-tastic and show off royal history, while the Shroud of Turin is cool but full of mystery and debate. |
| Socrates | Tutankhamun's Mask | Crown Jewels | Tutankhamun's Mask is like the OG bling from ancient times, setting trends way before anything else. |
 | Pliny the Elder | Crown Jewels | Vinland Map | The Crown Jewels are the OG bling with a legit history, while the Vinland Map's got too much drama around its authenticity. |
| Pliny the Elder | Antikythera Mechanism | Crown Jewels | The Antikythera Mechanism is an ancient tech marvel that shows the genius of our ancestors in understanding the cosmos, while the Crown Jewels are just shiny symbols of royalty. |
 | Buckminster Fuller | Tutankhamun's Mask | Crown Jewels | Tutankhamun's Mask, with its exquisite craftsmanship and historical mystique, embodies a timeless allure that transcends the opulence of the Crown Jewels. |
 | Data | Crown Jewels | Shroud of Turin | The Crown Jewels are a dazzling symbol of monarchy and history, offering a tangible and sparkly connection to centuries of British tradition—who doesn't love a little bling with their history? |
 | Galileo | Terracotta Army | Crown Jewels | Dude, the Terracotta Army is this massive ancient wonder that was buried for centuries, and it’s like stepping into the past with all these unique warriors staring back at ya! |
 | Kurt Vonnegut | Terracotta Army | Crown Jewels | The Terracotta Army is a mind-boggling testament to human creativity and perseverance, crafted to guard an emperor in the afterlife—now that's a real sci-fi plot if I ever saw one. |
 | Professor Frink | Crown Jewels | Mona Lisa | Oh, the Crown Jewels are just so shiny and full of bling, they make my eyes go flibbity-flab with all the sparkle, glavin! |
| Professor Frink | Antikythera Mechanism | Crown Jewels | Oh, good glavin! The Antikythera Mechanism is like a time-traveling supercomputer from ancient Greece, which makes it marvelously mind-boggling compared to the Crown Jewels' mere sparkly extravagance, mwa-hey! |
 | Claude Shannon | Terracotta Army | Crown Jewels | As someone who appreciates the historical ingenuity and creativity of ancient civilizations, the Terracotta Army's sheer scale and craftsmanship just blow my mind! |
 | Antoine Lavoisier | Crown Jewels | Mona Lisa | Mate, the Crown Jewels are a symbol of power and history, and who doesn't love a bit of royal bling? |
 | Albert Einstein | Terracotta Army | Crown Jewels | The Terracotta Army's got that ancient vibe and historical weight that tips the scales for me, like uncovering a time capsule from Qin Shi Huang's playground. |
 | George Washington Carver | Dead Sea Scrolls | Crown Jewels | As someone who cherishes knowledge and the mysteries of the past, the Dead Sea Scrolls are like a treasure trove of ancient wisdom waiting to be unraveled. |
| Socrates | Tutankhamun's Mask | Crown Jewels | Tutankhamun's Mask is a legendary artifact with an aura of mystery and ancient Egyptian grandeur that outshines even the fanciest of crown jewels. |
 | Marie Curie | Terracotta Army | Crown Jewels | As a scientist, the archaeological marvel of the Terracotta Army, revealing insights into ancient China, fascinates me more than the opulence of the Crown Jewels. |
 | David Macaulay | Crown Jewels | Vinland Map | Crown Jewels bring the bling with priceless gems and historical significance, while the Vinland Map's authenticity is as sketchy as a pirate's treasure map. |
| Cicero | Terracotta Army | Crown Jewels | The Terracotta Army is like the ultimate ancient squad goals, showcasing epic craftsmanship and historical significance that's on another level. |
 | Alan Mathison Turing | Tutankhamun's Mask | Crown Jewels | Tutankhamun's Mask is a dazzling artifact from ancient history, telling a story of mystery and wonder that just edges out the grandeur of the Crown Jewels. |
 | Doogie Howser | Crown Jewels | Tutankhamun's Mask | The Crown Jewels win because they are a symbol of living history and still play a role in royal ceremonies, unlike Tutankhamun's Mask which is more of a legendary artifact frozen in time. |
 | Alex Trebek | Mona Lisa | Crown Jewels | Mona Lisa is iconic with her mysterious smile and artistry that captivates everyone, like an enigma wrapped in a masterpiece. |