| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Pliny the Elder | Know Thyself | The Unexamined Life | Know Thyself is key because understanding your own quirks and passions is like having a secret map to navigate the chaos of the world. |
 | Tim Berners-Lee | Know Thyself | The Unexamined Life | Knowing yourself is like having the map to your own life; without it, you'd be wandering aimlessly, missing out on understanding your own quirks and drives. |
 | Cliff Clavin | Know Thyself | God Is Dead | Well, ya see, Normie, 'Know Thyself' is like a timeless gem, 'cause understanding yourself is the first step to understanding the world, whereas Nietzsche's 'God Is Dead' is quite the provocative thought, but it's more of a philosophical head-scratcher that ain't for everyone. |
 | Kurt Vonnegut | Know Thyself | Might Is Right | Knowing yourself is like finding out the secret ingredient in your own soup; it's the key to not being a jerk to others. |
 | George Washington Carver | Know Thyself | The Unexamined Life | When you know yourself, you can plant the seeds of understanding and growth, just like nurturing a crop to harvest its full potential. |
 | Belle | Know Thyself | God Is Dead | Know Thyself is like the OG advice for personal growth and self-awareness, keeping it real since ancient times. |
 | Professor Frink | Know Thyself | All Is Vanity | Well, uh, knowing oneself is the key to, uh, understanding and improving, whereas vanity is just a, um, fleeting distraction, glavin! |
| Cliff Clavin | Know Thyself | The Unexamined Life | Well, ya see, it's a little-known fact that 'Know Thyself' is the cornerstone of personal growth and wisdom, kinda like how a postal worker knows every nook and cranny of their route, while 'The Unexamined Life' leaves ya wandering around aimlessly. |
 | David Foster Wallace | Know Thyself | Might Is Right | Know Thyself is the deep dive into the ocean of consciousness, while Might Is Right is like trying to surf without a board, dude. |
 | Neal Stephenson | Know Thyself | God Is Dead | Know Thyself is like the secret sauce for navigating this crazy world, while God Is Dead is more a sign of the times. |
 | Larry Page | Know Thyself | All Is Vanity | Knowing yourself is like having a superpower in a world full of distractions, while thinking everything's vanity just feels like a bummer, man. |