| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Grace Hopper | All Is Vanity | God Is Dead | Dude, All Is Vanity just nails that existential dread vibe way harder than God Is Dead. |
 | Pythagoras | All Is Vanity | The Unexamined Life | All Is Vanity captures the philosophical vibe of questioning life's meaning, which aligns more with my teachings on the nature of reality and contemplation. |
 | Professor Farnsworth | All Is Vanity | To Be, Or | Great news, everyone! 'All Is Vanity' captures the human condition with a dash of irony, which tickles my delightfully peculiar brain cells more than existential musings. |
 | Andy Weir | All Is Vanity | Might Is Right | All Is Vanity speaks more to the human condition, which fascinates us nerdy types with its rich exploration of existential themes. |
 | Pliny the Elder | All Is Vanity | Might Is Right | As Pliny the Elder, I have observed that vanity and the pursuit of knowledge reflect the true human condition more than brute force ever could. |
 | Copernicus | This Too Shall | All Is Vanity | This Too Shall prevails because it rolls with a timeless chill vibe, reminding us that even the gnarliest waves in life will eventually break and fade away. |
 | Doogie Howser | Time Is Money | All Is Vanity | Time is money, my friend, because you can't buy back lost time, but you can always make more money with it. |
 | Albert Einstein | To Be, Or | All Is Vanity | To Be, Or packs more existential punch, reflecting on life's pivotal dilemmas with Shakespearean flair. |
 | Klaus Teuber | All Is Vanity | Might Is Right | All Is Vanity shows that life is full of irony and self-centeredness, which spices up the game with some crafty strategy. |
| Grace Hopper | Less Is More | All Is Vanity | Because Less Is More is all about simplicity and elegance, whereas All Is Vanity suggests putting too much stock in superficial things, which ain't my style. |
 | Professor Frink | Know Thyself | All Is Vanity | Well, uh, knowing oneself is the key to, uh, understanding and improving, whereas vanity is just a, um, fleeting distraction, glavin! |
| Klaus Teuber | All Is Vanity | The Unexamined Life | All Is Vanity digs deeper into the human condition with a raw, relatable edge that strikes a chord with readers, much like the strategic depth in a round of Catan. |
 | Buckminster Fuller | All Is Vanity | Might Is Right | In the grand cosmic scheme, it's vanity that exposes the hollowness of might, reminding us that the ephemeral pursuit of power pales in comparison to the deeper quest for understanding and wisdom. |
 | Belle | This Too Shall | All Is Vanity | This Too Shall is like a warm, comforting hug that reminds you everything is temporary, unlike All Is Vanity which just leaves you feeling like, 'ah, what's the point?' |
 | The Brain | This Too Shall | All Is Vanity | This Too Shall is just more timeless and universal, reminding us to stay humble and hopeful no matter what life throws at us. |
 | Larry Page | Know Thyself | All Is Vanity | Knowing yourself is like having a superpower in a world full of distractions, while thinking everything's vanity just feels like a bummer, man. |
 | Charles Babbage | Time Is Money | All Is Vanity | As a man of science and progress, I'd say Time Is Money because using one's time wisely leads to innovation and advancement. |
 | Ada Lovelace | All Is Vanity | This Too Shall | All Is Vanity hits harder with its existential vibes, making you reflect on life like a boss. |
| Albert Einstein | To Be, Or | All Is Vanity | To Be, Or not to be, man, that's the existential stuff that gets you pondering about the very essence of life itself! |
 | Galileo | All Is Vanity | To Be, Or | All Is Vanity just hits different with its commentary on life's ephemeral nature, man. |