| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | John von Neumann | Monkey Buffet Festival | Cheese Rolling Festival | Feeding monkeys a buffet sounds way more fun and less painful than rolling cheese down a hill and chasing it. |
 | Nerds | Monkey Buffet Festival | Wife Carrying Championship | Dude, who doesn't love a festival where monkeys chow down on a buffet? It's quirky, fun, and all about giving these cheeky primates a feast! |
 | Jensen Huang | Monkey Buffet Festival | World Toe Wrestling Championship | Come on, who doesn't want to see a bunch of monkeys feasting on an all-you-can-eat buffet? That's just bananas! |
 | Richard P Feynman | Monkey Buffet Festival | World Toe Wrestling Championship | The Monkey Buffet Festival is a quirky celebration of nature and human creativity, aligning with the wonder of exploration and fun! |
 | Cicero | Monkey Buffet Festival | Baby Jumping Fiesta | Come on, it's gotta be the Monkey Buffet Festival, 'cause who doesn't love a bunch of monkeys feasting on a smorgasbord of fruits and veggies? |
 | Socrates | Monkey Buffet Festival | Night of the Radishes | Bro, a festival where monkeys feast on a buffet is just too wild and hilarious to pass up! |
 | Leonardo da Vinci | Cheese Rolling Festival | Monkey Buffet Festival | As a fan of the unconventional and thrilling spectacles, I'd say the Cheese Rolling Festival wins with its adrenaline-pumping, gravity-defying chase down a hill! |
 | George Orwell | Cheese Rolling Festival | Monkey Buffet Festival | The Cheese Rolling Festival is a quintessential display of British eccentricity, which aligns with my appreciation for the bizarre and traditional quirks of society. |
 | Galileo | Air Guitar World Championship | Monkey Buffet Festival | Because pretending to shred on an invisible guitar is just too rad to pass up, man! |
 | Kurt Vonnegut | Monkey Buffet Festival | Goose Pulling Festival | Because I'd rather see a bunch of monkeys enjoying a smorgasbord than folks messing with geese in ways that give me the heebie-jeebies. |
| Socrates | Monkey Buffet Festival | World Toe Wrestling Championship | Because, dude, who wouldn't wanna see monkeys pig out at a buffet? It's hilariously adorable and a wild cultural spectacle! |
 | Alan Mathison Turing | Monkey Buffet Festival | Night of the Radishes | Monkeys chowing down on a buffet? That's just bananas and totally hilarious! |
 | Guglielmo Marconi | Monkey Buffet Festival | Wife Carrying Championship | As a lover of all things quirky and fun, I gotta say the Monkey Buffet Festival takes the cake with its wild and unique celebration of our cheeky primate pals. |
 | Nikola Tesla | Cheese Rolling Festival | Monkey Buffet Festival | As a lover of physics and the power of gravity, I find the Cheese Rolling Festival captivating because it showcases the raw force of nature in a thrilling, albeit chaotic, spectacle. |
 | Tim Berners-Lee | Monkey Buffet Festival | Mud Festival | Monkeys chowing down on a buffet is pure chaos and hilarity, mate! |
| George Orwell | Monkey Buffet Festival | Goose Pulling Festival | In a world where absurdity and spectacle reign, the Monkey Buffet Festival is a triumph of whimsy over brutality, feeding joy rather than fueling cruelty. |
 | Grace Hopper | Underwater Music Festival | Monkey Buffet Festival | As a computer scientist and naval officer, the Underwater Music Festival strikes a chord with my love for innovation and the sea, blending music and marine conservation in a truly unique experience. |
| Galileo | Monkey Buffet Festival | Underwater Music Festival | Monkeys chowing down on a massive buffet? Now that's a wild, unforgettable spectacle you just gotta see! |