| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Pythagoras | Diary of a Wimpy Kid | Dear Dumb Diary | Diary of a Wimpy Kid totally wins because everyone knows Greg's hilarious misadventures are the bomb and have become a classic in the middle school world. |
 | Pliny the Elder | The Diary of Anne Frank | Dear Dumb Diary | The Diary of Anne Frank is a profound historical document offering a poignant, real-life perspective during a critical time in history, while Dear Dumb Diary is humorous fiction geared towards entertainment. |
 | Jensen Huang | The Diary of Samuel Pepys | Dear Dumb Diary | The Diary of Samuel Pepys is a historical goldmine, offering first-hand insights into 17th-century England, which is perfect for my nerdy love of rich, historical context. |
 | Belle | Dear Dumb Diary | Go Ask Alice | Dear Dumb Diary is a lighter, funnier take on the teenage experience, making it more relatable and enjoyable for readers who dig humor over drama. |
 | Professor Frink | Bridget Jones's Diary | Dear Dumb Diary | Oh, glayvin! Bridget Jones's Diary is like a humorous rollercoaster for adults, dealing with the complexities of love and life, while Dear Dumb Diary, though delightful, is more of a youthful chucklefest. |
 | Stephen Hawking | The Diary of Samuel Pepys | Dear Dumb Diary | The Diary of Samuel Pepys gives a fascinating firsthand look into 17th-century England, which is like a historical time machine trip. |
 | Larry Page | The Journals of Anaïs Nin | Dear Dumb Diary | Anaïs Nin's journals dive deep into the human psyche and offer profound insights, which is right up my alley as a lifelong learner and seeker of innovation. |
 | Nerds | The Journals of Anaïs Nin | Dear Dumb Diary | The Journals of Anaïs Nin are like a deep dive into the soul, while Dear Dumb Diary is more of a fun splash in a kiddie pool. |
 | George Washington Carver | The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath | Dear Dumb Diary | As someone who's all about deep insights and explorations of the human condition, Sylvia Plath's journals speak to the heart and soul with their profound introspection. |
 | Doc Brown | The Freedom Writers Diary | Dear Dumb Diary | Great Scott! The Freedom Writers Diary showcases real-life student struggles and triumphs, inspiring change and empathy like a bolt from the blue! |
 | Leonardo da Vinci | The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath | Dear Dumb Diary | As a man who treasures profound introspection and the art of raw expression, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath resonates with my soul's yearning for depth and authenticity. |
 | Tim Berners-Lee | The Journals of Anaïs Nin | Dear Dumb Diary | The Journals of Anaïs Nin offer a profound exploration of human psyche and literary depth, appealing to those who dig introspective and complex narratives. |
 | Guglielmo Marconi | Go Ask Alice | Dear Dumb Diary | Go Ask Alice is like way deeper and gives you a raw look into the chaos of teenage life, which is totally gripping compared to the lighter, comedic tone of Dear Dumb Diary. |
 | Nikola Tesla | The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath | Dear Dumb Diary | As a visionary thinker, I find the depth of human emotion and introspection in Sylvia Plath's journals to be profoundly electrifying, akin to the raw energy I sought to harness in my inventions. |
| Nerds | The Diary of Samuel Pepys | Dear Dumb Diary | The Diary of Samuel Pepys offers a rich historical perspective and detailed observations of 17th-century life, making it a fascinating read for history buffs and literary enthusiasts alike. |
| Leonardo da Vinci | The Absolutely True Diary | Dear Dumb Diary | As a keen observer of the human condition, I find The Absolutely True Diary to be a richer tapestry of life's complexities and humor. |
 | Andy Weir | The Journals of Anaïs Nin | Dear Dumb Diary | Anaïs Nin's journals offer a rich, introspective dive into the human condition, like a literary deep space exploration, whereas Dear Dumb Diary is more like a fun jaunt to Mars with humor and sass. |
 | Klaus Teuber | The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath | Dear Dumb Diary | As a lover of deep narratives and human psychology, Sylvia Plath's journals offer a raw and intense look into a brilliant mind, making it my pick. |
| Klaus Teuber | The Absolutely True Diary | Dear Dumb Diary | The Absolutely True Diary packs a punch with its raw, honest storytelling that hits you right in the feels, giving a deeper insight into life's challenges. |
 | George Orwell | The Absolutely True Diary | Dear Dumb Diary | The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian is a poignant and raw exploration of identity and resilience, which hits right at the heart of societal complexities. |
| Pliny the Elder | The Absolutely True Diary | Dear Dumb Diary | The Absolutely True Diary is deeper and hits harder with its mix of humor and real-life struggles, while Dear Dumb Diary is funny but more lighthearted. |
 | Neal Stephenson | The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath | Dear Dumb Diary | Given my affinity for rich, introspective prose and complex themes, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath resonates more deeply with my literary appetite. |
| Nerds | The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath | Dear Dumb Diary | Dude, Plath's journals are like a deep dive into the intense and complex mind of a literary genius, while Dear Dumb Diary is more of a lighthearted, fun read for younger audiences. |
 | Alan Mathison Turing | Bridget Jones's Diary | Dear Dumb Diary | Bridget Jones's Diary is a classic that hilariously captures the ups and downs of single life in your 30s with a relatable charm that hits different. |
 | Dr. Frederick Frankenstein | The Absolutely True Diary | Dear Dumb Diary | The Absolutely True Diary is like a powerhouse of emotion and insight, delivering the real-deal vibes and making you think deep about life and stuff. |
 | Socrates | The Diary of Anne Frank | Dear Dumb Diary | The Diary of Anne Frank is a powerful historical document that provides a profound insight into the human spirit under duress, making it a timeless and essential read. |
 | Louis Pasteur | Diary of a Wimpy Kid | Dear Dumb Diary | Diary of a Wimpy Kid is just more popular and relatable, with its quirky humor and iconic illustrations that resonate with a wide audience. |
| George Washington Carver | The Diary of Samuel Pepys | Dear Dumb Diary | Being a history buff, The Diary of Samuel Pepys gives a real-deal glimpse into 17th-century life, which is pure gold for understanding the past. |