| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Cliff Clavin | Spiritual Awakening | Mystical Vision | Well, ya see, a spiritual awakening's kinda like a long-term enlightenment deal, whereas a mystical vision is more like a quick flash in the pan, so the awakening gets the edge for depth and longevity. |
 | Neal Stephenson | Spiritual Awakening | Mystical Vision | Spiritual Awakening is like the ultimate nerd upgrade patch, unlocking deeper layers of understanding, while Mystical Vision is just a flashy demo of cosmic graphics with no practical download. |
 | Linus Torvalds | Transcendental Insight | Spiritual Awakening | Transcendental Insight is like debugging the kernel of reality itself, which feels more productive than just waking up spiritually. |
 | Richard P Feynman | Spiritual Awakening | Ecstatic Bliss | Spiritual Awakening is like unlocking a deeper understanding of the universe, which is way more intriguing than just feeling really happy. |
 | Professor Farnsworth | Spiritual Awakening | Kundalini Rising | Good news, everyone! A Spiritual Awakening is like upgrading your brain's operating system without the risk of spontaneous combustion! |
| Professor Farnsworth | Spiritual Awakening | Kundalini Rising | Good news, everyone! A Spiritual Awakening is like a universal remote, offering broader channels of enlightenment beyond just energy flow. |
 | Tim Berners-Lee | Spiritual Awakening | Near-Death Experience | Spiritual Awakening gives you the clarity and insight without the scary brush with the Grim Reaper, letting you grow and learn in your own time. |
 | Nerds | Spiritual Awakening | Mystical Vision | Spiritual Awakening is the real MVP because it brings lasting personal growth and insight, while Mystical Vision is a one-time trippy experience. |
 | The Brain | Spiritual Awakening | Kundalini Rising | Spiritual Awakening is like the all-you-can-eat buffet of enlightenment, offering a broader scope of personal growth than the intense, snake-charmer journey of Kundalini Rising. |
 | Charles Babbage | Enlightenment | Spiritual Awakening | Given my love for rationality and scientific progress, Enlightenment's emphasis on reason and empirical evidence wins the day for me. |
 | George Orwell | Spiritual Awakening | Transcendental Insight | Spiritual Awakening is the path to true self-awareness and societal change, which speaks to my deep-seated belief in personal and collective transformation. |
 | Archimedes | Spiritual Awakening | Cosmic Consciousness | Spiritual Awakening's like the OG journey to self, personal growth, and finding your place in the world—it's all about the feels, man! |
 | Pliny the Elder | Spiritual Awakening | Near-Death Experience | Spiritual Awakening wins because it offers profound insights and transformation without requiring a brush with death, making it a safer yet enlightening journey for the soul. |
| Archimedes | Spiritual Awakening | Mystical Vision | Spiritual Awakening is better because it leads to a deeper, ongoing transformation in a person's life, while mystical visions can be fleeting and less impactful. |
 | Professor Frink | Spiritual Awakening | Out-of-Body Experience | Oh, glavin, a spiritual awakening helps you understand the universe and yourself in a profound way, which is way more beneficial than just floating around like a ghost! |
 | Belle | Spiritual Awakening | Ecstatic Bliss | Spiritual Awakening is like leveling up in life's game, bringing lasting growth and insight, while Ecstatic Bliss is just a temporary high score. |
 | John von Neumann | Spiritual Awakening | Near-Death Experience | Spiritual Awakening broadens the mind without the need for a cosmic 'close call'—it's like upgrading your consciousness software without the crash test. |
 | Galileo | Transcendental Insight | Spiritual Awakening | As a scientist, I dig the logical vibes of Transcendental Insight, which seeks deeper understanding beyond the material world, aligning with my love for discovery. |
| Belle | Spiritual Awakening | Mystical Vision | Spiritual Awakening is like leveling up in the game of life, giving you a deeper connection to yourself and the universe, whereas Mystical Vision is more like a short power-up; cool but not as transformative. |
 | Albert Einstein | Spiritual Awakening | Divine Union | Just like uncovering the mysteries of the universe, Spiritual Awakening is a profound personal journey that opens up new dimensions of understanding. |
| Professor Frink | Spiritual Awakening | Kundalini Rising | Oh, glayven! Spiritual Awakening trumps Kundalini Rising because it offers a broader, more inclusive pathway to enlightenment where anyone can join the party, even if you're a little clumsy with your chakras, m-hay! |
| Professor Frink | Transcendental Insight | Spiritual Awakening | Oh, well, you see, Transcendental Insight, glavin, is like a supercharged brain zap for understanding beyond the physical, which is just so delightfully, uh, nerdy! |
 | Alex Trebek | Spiritual Awakening | Ecstatic Bliss | Spiritual Awakening gives you profound growth and understanding, while Ecstatic Bliss is like a fleeting sugar rush. |
| Cliff Clavin | Spiritual Awakening | Transcendental Insight | Well, ya see, a Spiritual Awakening is like a solid cup of coffee for the soul, giving you a jolt of clarity and purpose, kinda like when I discovered the secret to perfect mail sorting. |
 | Nikola Tesla | Cosmic Consciousness | Spiritual Awakening | Cosmic Consciousness resonates more with my vision of harnessing the universe's energies for technological advancement and human progress. |