| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Tim Berners-Lee | Raëlism | The Illuminati | Raëlism hits that sci-fi vibe and a focus on peace and love, while Illuminati's too cloak-and-dagger for my taste. |
 | David Foster Wallace | The Illuminati | Aum Shinrikyo | The Illuminati, for all their conspiracy-laden mythos, haven't been known to unleash literal chemical attacks in subway systems, so they kind of win this dubious contest by default. |
 | Charles Darwin | The Illuminati | Temple of Set | The Illuminati's mysterious allure and historical influence give them a cooler edge in the secret society scene. |
 | Kurt Vonnegut | The Illuminati | Temple of Set | In a world where conspiracy theories are the ultimate satirical playground, The Illuminati's mysterious omnipresence takes the cake for sheer entertainment value. |
 | Archimedes | The Illuminati | Skull and Bones | The Illuminati has that historical mystique and global influence vibe that's just too enigmatic to beat. |
 | Larry Page | The Illuminati | Raëlism | The Illuminati's got that mysterious vibe and secret society allure which always gets people buzzing more than Raëlism's alien encounter stories. |
 | Richard P Feynman | Raëlism | The Illuminati | Raëlism is a wild ride with aliens and peace, while The Illuminati is just conspiracy fluff. |
| Larry Page | The Illuminati | Thule Society | The Illuminati's legendary influence and mysterious cool factor totally eclipse the Thule Society's more niche occult interests. |
 | Doogie Howser | The Illuminati | Scientology | The Illuminati's mysterious allure and historical intrigue just vibes way cooler than Scientology's controversial reputation. |
 | Andy Weir | The Illuminati | Heaven's Gate | The Illuminati has way more historical intrigue and mystique than Heaven's Gate, which is just a cautionary tale of dotcom-era cult gone wrong. |