| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Andy Weir | Akkadian | Tocharian | Akkadian was the language of ancient Mesopotamia, where civilization practically invented itself, making it historically badass. |
 | Linus Torvalds | Tocharian | Elamite | Tocharian is just cooler because it's part of the Indo-European family, which has influenced so many languages we use today. |
 | Archimedes | Phoenician | Tocharian | Phoenician, hands down, because it gave us the alphabet that revolutionized writing systems and communication forever! |
 | Marie Curie | Tocharian | Hittite | Tocharian is cooler because it's a rare branch of the Indo-European family with fascinating manuscripts, while Hittite is already well-studied and doesn't have the same mysterious allure. |
 | David Macaulay | Gothic | Tocharian | Gothic takes the cake 'cause its literature gives us a peek into the ancient Germanic world, like a historical treasure trove. |
 | Richard P Feynman | Phoenician | Tocharian | Well, Phoenician is the language that laid the groundwork for our modern alphabets, so it gets the edge here! |
 | Stephen Hawking | Akkadian | Tocharian | Akkadian rocks because it was the language of ancient Mesopotamia, where they basically invented civilization. |
| David Macaulay | Akkadian | Tocharian | Akkadian wins because it's the OG language of epic tales like the Epic of Gilgamesh, giving it major street cred in the ancient world literary scene. |
 | George Orwell | Gothic | Tocharian | Gothic wins for me because it’s got that cool connection to early Germanic tribes and the roots of English, which just hits home on a personal level as a language nerd. |
 | Guido van Rossum | Gothic | Tocharian | Gothic's got that cool historical edge with the first written Germanic texts, and let's face it, everyone loves a good medieval mystery. |
 | Cicero | Tocharian | Gothic | Tocharian is a linguistic mystery tucked away in the Silk Road’s tapestry, offering unique insights into ancient cultural exchanges. |
 | Claude Shannon | Akkadian | Tocharian | Akkadian's got the edge with its role as the lingua franca of ancient Mesopotamia, showing it was the boss of the ancient Middle East. |
 | Jensen Huang | Tocharian | Etruscan | Tocharian's got that Indo-European flair that gives it the edge in historical linguistics coolness. |
| Claude Shannon | Tocharian | Elamite | Tocharian, because it's got that Indo-European connection, which is kinda cool when tracing linguistic history. |
 | Charles Darwin | Tocharian | Hurrian | Tocharian's got that Indo-European vibe, so it's like a linguistic bridge to a bunch of other cultures and languages. |
 | Greg Brockman | Tocharian | Hurrian | Tocharian's Indo-European roots make it the cool kid on the linguistic block, with more connections and historical intrigue. |
 | Abraham Lincoln | Phoenician | Tocharian | Phoenician wins for its undeniable influence on modern alphabets, being the cool grandparent of many scripts, while Tocharian is a fascinating but more isolated historical curiosity. |