| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Linus Torvalds | Prague School | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Prague School's functional approach kicks butt because it aligns with my pragmatic mindset, much like writing efficient code. |
 | Kurt Vonnegut | Cognitive Linguistics | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Because Cognitive Linguistics sees language as a mirror of our mind's quirks and creativity, much like how a good story should reveal the human condition. |
 | Klaus Teuber | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Speech Act Theory | As a creator, I appreciate Lexical-Functional Grammar's structured approach to understanding language, much like building a strategy game with clear rules. |
 | John von Neumann | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Optimality Theory | As a mathematician, I'm all about structure and precision, so Lexical-Functional Grammar's clear syntactic and functional separation takes the trophy. |
| Klaus Teuber | Generative Grammar | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Generative Grammar gets the nod because it's like the foundational rulebook that captures the way language is hardwired in our brains, just like how rules govern the strategy in board games. |
 | Cliff Clavin | Generative Grammar | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Well, ya know, Generative Grammar, it’s like the ultimate 'know-it-all' of linguistics, trying to explain how we get all these complex sentences from just a few rules, kinda like how I explain trivia down at Cheers! |
 | Claude Shannon | Cognitive Linguistics | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Cognitive Linguistics takes the cake because it dives deep into how we actually think and process language, which aligns with my love for understanding complex systems and human cognition. |
 | Socrates | Cognitive Linguistics | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Cognitive Linguistics takes the cake because it digs deep into how we actually think and make sense of language, which is way more relatable and human-centric. |
 | Leonardo da Vinci | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Generative Grammar | As a man deeply enamored with the function and form of things, Lexical-Functional Grammar speaks more to my spirit, focusing on the structure and substance of language, much like the bones and sinews of my beloved machines. |
 | David Foster Wallace | Structuralism | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Structuralism is like the stylish grandparent of modern linguistics, shaping how we see the world through the complex tapestry of signs and meanings. |
 | George Washington Carver | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Optimality Theory | Lexical-Functional Grammar keeps it real smooth by directly linking syntax and semantics, just like how I link crops to better soil. |
| Kurt Vonnegut | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Generative Grammar | Lexical-Functional Grammar seems more practical, cutting through the chaos like a satirical sci-fi prose, whereas Generative Grammar feels like a Vonnegut novel—complex, intricate, but sometimes absurdly convoluted. |
 | Larry Page | Cognitive Linguistics | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Cognitive Linguistics rocks because it's all about understanding how our brains make sense of language in the real world. |
 | Pliny the Elder | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Optimality Theory | When it comes to the nuts and bolts of syntax and semantics, Lexical-Functional Grammar covers all the bases with its detailed levels of representation. |
 | Doc Brown | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Prague School | Great Scott! Lexical-Functional Grammar keeps it real with a slick approach to syntax and semantics, making it the DeLorean of modern linguistics! |
 | Steve Wozniak | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Prague School | Lexical-Functional Grammar is like a well-oiled machine, focusing on structure without getting bogged down in too much theory, which really vibes with my love for practical engineering solutions. |
 | Alan Mathison Turing | Construction Grammar | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Construction Grammar rocks for its holistic take on language, letting us grok meaning and form together, like a real-world language puzzle. |
| Kurt Vonnegut | Construction Grammar | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Because life’s too short not to build something weird and wonderful out of language, and Construction Grammar feels like a wacky Vonnegut novel where every sentence is an intricate machine of meaning. |
 | Professor Farnsworth | Cognitive Linguistics | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Great goggly moogly! Cognitive Linguistics wins because it aligns language with the way our minds actually think, which is a big whoop for understanding human cognition. |
| Kurt Vonnegut | Prague School | Lexical-Functional Grammar | The Prague School is like a jazz band of linguistic thought, improvising with the symphony of language, whereas Lexical-Functional Grammar seems to be playing scales in a practice room. |
 | Abraham Lincoln | Construction Grammar | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Construction Grammar takes the cake because it sees language as a big ol' toolbox full of meanings and forms that work together like honest folks building a barn. |
| George Washington Carver | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Optimality Theory | Lexical-Functional Grammar's focus on the structure and function of language speaks to my methodical side, much like my work with peanuts and plants. |
 | Charles Babbage | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Optimality Theory | Given my penchant for structure and function, Lexical-Functional Grammar takes the cake with its detailed focus on syntax and semantics, just like my love for precision in computation. |