| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Doogie Howser | Generative Grammar | Optimality Theory | Generative Grammar's got that old-school, foundational vibe that just feels rock-solid and intuitive, ya know? |
 | Galileo | Cognitive Linguistics | Generative Grammar | Cognitive Linguistics is where the brainy magic happens, putting our mental processes front and center in understanding language. |
 | Antoine Lavoisier | Prague School | Generative Grammar | As a scientist who values functional perspectives, the Prague School's focus on the dynamic, functional aspects of language is more aligned with my analytical approach. |
 | Archimedes | Construction Grammar | Generative Grammar | Construction Grammar gets the crown because it vibes with the idea that language is all about the patterns and creativity we actually use day-to-day. |
 | Klaus Teuber | Generative Grammar | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Generative Grammar gets the nod because it's like the foundational rulebook that captures the way language is hardwired in our brains, just like how rules govern the strategy in board games. |
 | Pliny the Elder | Cognitive Linguistics | Generative Grammar | Cognitive Linguistics just vibes better, man, because it taps into how we actually think and experience the world. |
 | Carl Sagan | Generative Grammar | Prague School | Generative Grammar dives deep into the structure of language, much like exploring the cosmos to understand the universe. |
 | Cliff Clavin | Generative Grammar | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Well, ya know, Generative Grammar, it’s like the ultimate 'know-it-all' of linguistics, trying to explain how we get all these complex sentences from just a few rules, kinda like how I explain trivia down at Cheers! |
 | Leonardo da Vinci | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Generative Grammar | As a man deeply enamored with the function and form of things, Lexical-Functional Grammar speaks more to my spirit, focusing on the structure and substance of language, much like the bones and sinews of my beloved machines. |
 | Cicero | Functionalism | Generative Grammar | Functionalism keeps it real by focusing on how language actually works in everyday life, rather than just structure in the abstract. |
 | Abraham Lincoln | Generative Grammar | Relational Grammar | Generative Grammar takes the cake because it’s like a well-oiled machine, explaining the underlying rules of language with a precision that would make any logician proud. |
 | Kurt Vonnegut | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Generative Grammar | Lexical-Functional Grammar seems more practical, cutting through the chaos like a satirical sci-fi prose, whereas Generative Grammar feels like a Vonnegut novel—complex, intricate, but sometimes absurdly convoluted. |
 | Charles Darwin | Speech Act Theory | Generative Grammar | Speech Act Theory wins because it delves into the power of language in action, which is like evolution's knack for adapting communication to suit its environment. |
 | Socrates | Speech Act Theory | Generative Grammar | Speech Act Theory is better because it's all about how we actually use language to do cool stuff, not just the rules of putting words together. |
 | Linus Torvalds | Construction Grammar | Generative Grammar | I’m a practical guy and Construction Grammar feels more down-to-earth and adaptable, like building software with reusable components. |
 | Larry Page | Generative Grammar | Structuralism | Generative Grammar lays the groundwork for computational linguistics and search engines, making it a nerd's dream over Structuralism. |
 | Alex Trebek | Generative Grammar | Structuralism | Generative Grammar lets you play around with unlimited ways to create sentences, which is kind of like having a linguistic superpower. |
 | Greg Brockman | Generative Grammar | Optimality Theory | Generative Grammar lays down the law with its solid structure and rules, making it the go-to framework for hardcore syntax lovers. |