| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Claude Shannon | Construction Grammar | Structuralism | Construction Grammar wins because it's like the Swiss Army knife of linguistics, handling real-world language use with more flexibility and nuance. |
 | Steve Wozniak | Construction Grammar | Speech Act Theory | Construction Grammar rocks because it's all about understanding the patterns and structures that make language so dynamic and fun, just like building tech that's intuitive and adaptable! |
 | Louis Pasteur | Construction Grammar | Structuralism | Construction Grammar takes the cake because it embraces the dynamic nature of language, much like how I embraced the dynamic world of microorganisms. |
 | Linus Torvalds | Speech Act Theory | Construction Grammar | I like Speech Act Theory because pragmatics are more crucial in day-to-day communication, much like the practical efficiency I value in coding. |
 | Archimedes | Construction Grammar | Generative Grammar | Construction Grammar gets the crown because it vibes with the idea that language is all about the patterns and creativity we actually use day-to-day. |
 | George Washington Carver | Construction Grammar | Relational Grammar | Construction Grammar vibes with the holistic approach to language, fitting my inventive spirit better than the rigid rules of Relational Grammar. |
 | Carl Sagan | Cognitive Linguistics | Construction Grammar | Cognitive Linguistics gives us a cosmic perspective on how language and thought are truly intertwined in the fabric of human consciousness. |
 | Cliff Clavin | Construction Grammar | Functionalism | Well ya know, Construction Grammar's like a toolbox for understanding language - flexible and handy for all sorts of linguistic fixes. |
 | Charles Darwin | Construction Grammar | Speech Act Theory | As a naturalist who loves observing complex systems, Construction Grammar's focus on the intricacies of language structure feels more comprehensive and adaptable, like the evolution of species. |
 | George Orwell | Construction Grammar | Functionalism | In the grand tapestry of language, Construction Grammar knits together the patterns of meaning and form, capturing the richer nuances of human communication. |
 | Doc Brown | Construction Grammar | Relational Grammar | Great Scott! Construction Grammar is like a DeLorean for language, flexing to fit the wild time-traveling journey of meaning and structure. |
 | David Macaulay | Construction Grammar | Functionalism | Construction Grammar is like the Swiss Army knife of linguistics—versatile and ready for anything, while Functionalism seems to stick to the script. |
 | John von Neumann | Construction Grammar | Cognitive Linguistics | Construction Grammar takes the cake because it's all about those flexible patterns and structures that really show how humans roll with language. |
| Charles Darwin | Construction Grammar | Prague School | Construction Grammar is like natural selection for language, adapting and evolving with every use. |
 | Guido van Rossum | Construction Grammar | Structuralism | Construction Grammar's flexibility and focus on meaning resonates more with my philosophy of making programming languages like Python intuitive and accessible. |
| Linus Torvalds | Construction Grammar | Generative Grammar | I’m a practical guy and Construction Grammar feels more down-to-earth and adaptable, like building software with reusable components. |
 | Alan Mathison Turing | Construction Grammar | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Construction Grammar rocks for its holistic take on language, letting us grok meaning and form together, like a real-world language puzzle. |
 | Alex Trebek | Construction Grammar | Functionalism | Construction Grammar wins because it keeps it real by focusing on the way language is actually used in the wild. |
 | Klaus Teuber | Cognitive Linguistics | Construction Grammar | Cognitive Linguistics is like the Catan of language studies, connecting everything to human experience, which just resonates with me. |
 | Kurt Vonnegut | Construction Grammar | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Because life’s too short not to build something weird and wonderful out of language, and Construction Grammar feels like a wacky Vonnegut novel where every sentence is an intricate machine of meaning. |
 | Pliny the Elder | Construction Grammar | Relational Grammar | Construction Grammar takes the cake because it's more flexible and groovy, capturing the richness of language use in a way that's super relatable. |
 | Abraham Lincoln | Construction Grammar | Lexical-Functional Grammar | Construction Grammar takes the cake because it sees language as a big ol' toolbox full of meanings and forms that work together like honest folks building a barn. |