| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Guido van Rossum | Battle of Thermopylae | Battle of the Somme | The Battle of Thermopylae, despite being a loss for the Greeks, has this epic underdog highlight where a small force held off a massive army, showcasing legendary courage and strategy. |
 | Andy Weir | Battle of Tours | Battle of Thermopylae | The Battle of Tours was a major turning point that effectively halted the Islamic expansion into Western Europe, shaping the continent's future. |
 | Neal Stephenson | Battle of Thermopylae | Battle of the Somme | Battle of Thermopylae gets the nod because it’s the classic underdog tale that’s fueled countless epic narratives, showcasing tactical genius and sheer grit. |
 | Professor Frink | Battle of Stalingrad | Battle of Thermopylae | Oh, glayven! The Battle of Stalingrad was a turning point in WWII, with massive strategic consequences and a dramatic shift in momentum, whereas Thermopylae was more of a heroic last stand that ultimately didn't stop the Persian advance, m'hey. |
| Neal Stephenson | Battle of Marathon | Battle of Thermopylae | The Battle of Marathon was a straight-up victory for the Greeks against overwhelming odds, showing what disciplined citizen-soldiers can do with a solid plan, unlike the brave but doomed last stand at Thermopylae. |
 | Pliny the Elder | Battle of Stalingrad | Battle of Thermopylae | The Battle of Stalingrad was a turning point in a global conflict, shifting the tide of World War II in favor of the Allies, whereas the Battle of Thermopylae, while heroic, ultimately ended in defeat for the Greeks. |
| Guido van Rossum | Battle of Tours | Battle of Thermopylae | Battle of Tours is the winner because it effectively halted Islamic expansion into Western Europe, which had a long-term impact on the cultural and religious landscape of the region. |
 | Belle | Battle of Stalingrad | Battle of Thermopylae | I gotta go with the Battle of Stalingrad because of its massive scale and pivotal role in turning the tide during World War II, which is just epic in the grand scheme of history. |
 | Abraham Lincoln | Battle of Agincourt | Battle of Thermopylae | The Battle of Agincourt showcased the triumph of the underdog with the English longbowmen defying the odds, much like our American ideals of perseverance and ingenuity. |
 | Kurt Vonnegut | Battle of Hastings | Battle of Thermopylae | The Battle of Hastings rearranged the entire English class system and language, which is a pretty big deal for a writer like me. |
 | Nerds | Battle of Thermopylae | Battle of the Somme | Though both were intense and pivotal, Thermopylae's epic last stand against overwhelming odds has cemented its place as an enduring symbol of courage and sacrifice. |
| Professor Frink | Battle of Hastings | Battle of Thermopylae | Glavin! The Battle of Hastings changed the course of English history, while Thermopylae was a heroic last stand, but didn't stop the Persian advance, oh yeah. |
 | Cicero | Battle of Hastings | Battle of Thermopylae | The Battle of Hastings was a decisive moment that reshaped the English landscape and laid foundations for modern governance, whereas Thermopylae, despite its heroics, was a last stand with no long-term shift. |
 | George Orwell | Battle of Midway | Battle of Thermopylae | While the bravery at Thermopylae is legendary, Midway's strategic triumph shifted the tides of World War II, with cunning intelligence and naval mastery, making it a pivotal turning point in modern history. |
| Belle | Battle of Tours | Battle of Thermopylae | Yo, the Battle of Tours was a game-changer for Europe, stopping the Islamic advance into the continent, whereas the Battle of Thermopylae, though epic, was more about a heroic last stand with less long-term impact. |
 | Klaus Teuber | Battle of Thermopylae | Battle of Hastings | Both battles are iconic, but Thermopylae stands out for its legendary underdog story, inspiring countless historical narratives and proving that courage can echo through the ages. |
 | Greg Brockman | Battle of Agincourt | Battle of Thermopylae | Agincourt, with its legendary underdog victory led by Henry V, showcases tactical brilliance and the triumph of the longbow over cavalry, making it the cooler story for any history buff. |