| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Linus Torvalds | Holy Grail | Stone of Scone | The Holy Grail, being a legendary vessel of mystery and adventure, is just way cooler than a stone that people fight over to sit on. |
 | Doc Brown | Crown of Thorns | Stone of Scone | Great Scott! The Crown of Thorns is a holy relic with deep spiritual significance, far outweighing the Stone of Scone's political history. |
 | Nikola Tesla | Shroud of Turin | Stone of Scone | The Shroud of Turin sparks endless curiosity and scientific debate, much like my inventions, making it a fascinating enigma to ponder. |
 | Carl Sagan | Stone of Scone | True Cross | The Stone of Scone is a tangible piece of history with a fascinating story of power and legend, while the True Cross is more shrouded in myth and lacks verifiable authenticity. |
 | Richard P Feynman | Stone of Scone | True Cross | The Stone of Scone rocks with historical significance and royal drama, whereas the True Cross is more a matter of faith than fact. |
 | Professor Farnsworth | Sarcophagus of Osiris | Stone of Scone | Good news, everyone! The Sarcophagus of Osiris packs more mystery and ancient pizazz than that crusty Stone of Scone. |
 | George Orwell | Stone of Scone | Baghdad Battery | The Stone of Scone resonates with the Orwellian theme of power and history, symbolizing political rule and national identity with its storied past. |
 | Louis Pasteur | Baghdad Battery | Stone of Scone | As a scientist, the mystery and potential of ancient technology like the Baghdad Battery sparks more curiosity and excitement than a coronation stone. |
 | Andy Weir | Holy Grail | Stone of Scone | The Holy Grail wins because it's got that whole immortality and divine mystery vibe going on, which is just way cooler than a stone seat. |
 | John von Neumann | Holy Grail | Stone of Scone | The Holy Grail's legendary powers and mystique make it the ultimate quest for any seeker of truth and immortality, while the Stone of Scone is just a rock with a royal side gig. |
 | Alex Trebek | Stone of Scone | Spear of Destiny | The Stone of Scone has the edge because it's steeped in royal history and still plays a role in modern ceremonies, while the Spear of Destiny is more about legend and mystique. |
 | Cliff Clavin | Holy Grail | Stone of Scone | Well, ya know, the Holy Grail is like the ultimate treasure hunt for, like, eternal youth and enlightenment, kinda outshines a fancy rock for coronations, don't ya think? |
 | Guido van Rossum | Spear of Destiny | Stone of Scone | The Spear of Destiny has a cool historical vibe and legendary powers that make it way more intriguing than a giant rock seat. |
| Alex Trebek | Holy Grail | Stone of Scone | The Holy Grail gets the nod because it's the ultimate quest item, promising eternal life and a touch of mystery, whereas the Stone of Scone is more of a historic relic with a cool backstory. |
 | Pliny the Elder | Spear of Destiny | Stone of Scone | The Spear of Destiny's epic mystique as a legendary artifact of power and conquest just gives it the edge over a stone that's basically a fancy seat for crowning kings. |
 | Pythagoras | Shroud of Turin | Stone of Scone | The Shroud of Turin is like an ancient selfie, sparking endless debate and fascination with its mysterious image, making it the ultimate enigma over the Stone of Scone. |
 | Kurt Vonnegut | True Cross | Stone of Scone | The True Cross wins because, in the grand theater of human zaniness, its blend of myth, faith, and history is a plot twist that even Kilgore Trout would envy. |
 | George Washington Carver | Stone of Scone | Spear of Destiny | Well, the Stone of Scone's got a legendary vibe and a role in crowning royalty, which is just way cooler than a pointy stick with a story, if you ask me. |
 | The Brain | Crown of Thorns | Stone of Scone | The Crown of Thorns, man, it's got that deep spiritual and historical significance that's hard to beat, like a relic with epic backstory vibes. |
 | Doogie Howser | Baghdad Battery | Stone of Scone | The Baghdad Battery is cooler 'cause it's like ancient tech magic, while the Stone of Scone is just a fancy rock for kings to sit on. |
| Pythagoras | True Cross | Stone of Scone | The True Cross, being linked to the crucifixion of Jesus, holds unmatched spiritual significance, making it a bigger deal than a coronation rock. |
 | Neal Stephenson | Spear of Destiny | Stone of Scone | The Spear of Destiny's got that legendary mystique that just seems more epic for storytelling. |
| Professor Farnsworth | Sarcophagus of Osiris | Stone of Scone | Good news, everyone! The Sarcophagus of Osiris has mystical powers and is steeped in ancient Egyptian lore, making it infinitely more fascinating than a fancy rock. |
 | Claude Shannon | Stone of Scone | True Cross | The Stone of Scone is legendary for its role in coronations, adding a tangible touch of royalty and history, whereas the True Cross is more about belief and faith. |
 | David Foster Wallace | Ark of Covenant | Stone of Scone | The Ark of the Covenant is loaded with legendary mystique and cosmic importance, while the Stone of Scone is basically just a fancy rock with some historical heft. |
 | Socrates | Holy Grail | Stone of Scone | Dude, the Holy Grail's got legendary mystique and promises eternal life—can't beat that! |
 | Abraham Lincoln | Stone of Scone | Sarcophagus of Osiris | As a man who treasures the nuances of democracy and sovereignty, the Stone of Scone holds a special place for its role in crowning the kings of Scotland and its symbolism of unity and independence. |