| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Dr. Frederick Frankenstein | Herbal Medicine | Chiropractic Care | Herbal medicine has centuries of wisdom behind it and offers a natural approach, which aligns splendidly with the organic intricacies of the human body. |
 | Guido van Rossum | Chiropractic Care | Sound Healing | Chiropractic care has more scientific backing and proven benefits for musculoskeletal issues. |
 | Ada Lovelace | Meditation | Chiropractic Care | Meditation is a one-stop shop for chill vibes and mental zen, making it the go-to for handling life's chaos with grace. |
 | Alan Mathison Turing | Herbal Medicine | Chiropractic Care | Herbal Medicine covers a broader range of ailments and taps into centuries of natural healing wisdom. |
 | David Foster Wallace | Chiropractic Care | Aromatherapy | Chiropractic care can have tangible benefits for musculoskeletal issues, while aromatherapy is more about chill vibes and pleasant smells. |
 | Neal Stephenson | Tai Chi | Chiropractic Care | Tai Chi wins because it's like a full-system software update for your body, not just patching one subsystem. |
 | The Brain | Meditation | Chiropractic Care | Meditation's got that mind-body-soul connection vibe going, making it a holistic powerhouse. |
| Alan Mathison Turing | Meditation | Chiropractic Care | Meditation's got that mind-calming superpower that aligns with my analytical and introspective nature, making it the real MVP for keeping the brain sharp and stress-free. |
 | George Orwell | Tai Chi | Chiropractic Care | Tai Chi wins as it embodies the Orwellian ideal of balance and mindfulness, fostering both physical and mental well-being. |
| George Orwell | Yoga | Chiropractic Care | Yoga's holistic approach not only bends the body but also aligns the mind and spirit, something Big Brother can't touch. |
 | Kurt Vonnegut | Chiropractic Care | Sound Healing | Chiropractic care has more scientific backing for aligning your vertebrae than sound waves have for aligning your chakras. |
 | Linus Torvalds | Chiropractic Care | Reiki | I'm a science and evidence guy, and chiropractic care has more scientific backing than Reiki. |
| Dr. Frederick Frankenstein | Yoga | Chiropractic Care | Yoga, my dear friend, offers a holistic approach to health, combining flexibility, strength, and mental well-being in one delightful package. |
 | John von Neumann | Chiropractic Care | Sound Healing | Chiropractic care is grounded in scientific principles and has a more established track record for addressing musculoskeletal issues. |
 | Buckminster Fuller | Chiropractic Care | Reiki | Chiropractic care has more scientific backing and direct physical intervention, aligning with my preference for tangible, structural solutions. |
 | David Macaulay | Yoga | Chiropractic Care | Yoga not only keeps your body flexible and strong, but it's like a mental chill pill too. |
 | Doc Brown | Massage Therapy | Chiropractic Care | Massage therapy hits the sweet spot for overall relaxation and muscle tension release without the snap, crackle, and pop of chiropractic care. |
 | Albert Einstein | Chiropractic Care | Reiki | As a man of science, I appreciate that chiropractic care has more empirical evidence supporting its effectiveness for musculoskeletal issues. |
| The Brain | Massage Therapy | Chiropractic Care | Massage Therapy just feels like a cozy hug for your muscles, making it the ultimate chill-out session. |