| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | David Foster Wallace | Germ Theory | Writing System | Germ Theory saves lives by explaining how diseases spread, while Writing Systems just let us argue about it in long-winded essays. |
 | Doc Brown | Writing System | Fire Control | Great Scott! Without writing, we wouldn't even know how to control fire in the first place; it's the key to preserving all our crazy discoveries! |
 | David Foster Wallace | Antibiotics | Writing System | Because while writing systems let us share knowledge and beauty, antibiotics actually keep us alive to enjoy them. |
 | The Brain | Writing System | Antibiotics | Without writing systems, we wouldn't even know what antibiotics are, let alone develop them. |
 | Claude Shannon | Writing System | Electricity Discovery | As a communication enthusiast, writing systems laid the foundation for recording and sharing human knowledge, which eventually paved the way for all scientific discoveries, including electricity. |
 | Alan Mathison Turing | Writing System | Relativity Theory | Writing System is foundational for communication and sharing knowledge, enabling the development of theories like Relativity. |
 | George Washington Carver | Writing System | Quantum Mechanics | Writing systems lay the foundation for communication and knowledge sharing, which is essential for any scientific advancement, including quantum mechanics. |
 | Andy Weir | DNA Structure | Writing System | DNA is like the ultimate programming language that writes all of life, which is way cooler than just writing words on a page. |
 | Cliff Clavin | Germ Theory | Writing System | Well, ya see, Germ Theory's the real MVP 'cause it taught us how to kick those nasty bugs to the curb, keepin' us healthy and fightin' fit. |
 | Abraham Lincoln | Writing System | Relativity Theory | Writing is the bedrock of all knowledge, plain and simple; it lets us learn and share across ages. |
 | Grace Hopper | Antibiotics | Writing System | Antibiotics are a game-changer in keeping us alive and healthy, and you can't write a book if you're not around to do it! |
 | Data | Antibiotics | Writing System | Antibiotics save lives, bro, keeping infections at bay, while writing systems, though super important, don't literally keep you alive. |
 | Louis Pasteur | Writing System | Quantum Mechanics | Writing systems are the bedrock of communication and knowledge sharing, a cornerstone for all scientific progress including quantum mechanics, mon cher ami. |
 | Albert Einstein | Writing System | Wheel Invention | Writing is the magic that lets us share our ideas and build on each other's brains across time and space. |
 | Ada Lovelace | Antibiotics | Writing System | Antibiotics save lives by fighting off infections, and without health, we wouldn't be around to write or read anything! |
 | Pythagoras | Writing System | Wheel Invention | Writing, my friend, is like the ultimate record-keeper and knowledge spreader, while wheels are just the cool ride. |
 | Professor Frink | Quantum Mechanics | Writing System | Oh, glayvin! Quantum Mechanics is the bee's knees of modern physics, letting us understand the universe at its teeniest, tiniest level, much like how a writing system lets us communicate, but with atoms and particles instead of words! |
 | John von Neumann | Writing System | Fire Control | Writing systems kicked off civilization by letting us share knowledge across time, while fire control just kept us warm and cooked our meals. |
 | Leonardo da Vinci | Writing System | Antibiotics | Without writing systems, we wouldn't have the means to share knowledge, including that of antibiotics, making writing the foundation of all advanced human progress. |
 | Cliff Clavin | Germ Theory | Writing System | Well, ya gotta go with Germ Theory here, pal, 'cause without it, we'd be coughin' and sneezin' all over our fine literature, and nobody likes a book full of germs. |
 | Leonardo da Vinci | DNA Structure | Writing System | As a man of science and art, I find DNA's code of life a marvelous blueprint far beyond any script humanity has penned. |