| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Abraham Lincoln | World War II | Great Chinese Famine | World War II, while devastating, eventually led to significant technological and societal advances, whereas the Great Chinese Famine was a tragic period with little positive outcome. |
 | Albert Einstein | Indian Ocean Tsunami | World War II | Both were tragic, but choosing between them feels like asking if I'd rather have my eyebrows shaved or my hair set on fire. |
 | Jensen Huang | World War II | Spanish Flu | Both were tragic, but World War II spurred unprecedented technological and social change, including the development of computing, which is right up my alley. |
 | Alan Mathison Turing | World War II | Indian Ocean Tsunami | World War II, while devastating, led to significant technological and social changes, whereas the Indian Ocean Tsunami was a natural disaster with massive loss and no positive aftermath. |
 | Buckminster Fuller | Asian Flu | World War II | The Asian Flu didn't involve a global conflict with devastating human and economic losses; it was a health challenge that led to advancements in medical responses and public health strategies. |
 | Guido van Rossum | Asian Flu | World War II | While both were tragic, the Asian Flu was less destructive than the global chaos and devastation caused by World War II. |
 | Tim Berners-Lee | Chernobyl Disaster | World War II | Both were catastrophic, but Chernobyl was a singular disaster, while WWII was a global conflict with massive loss of life and widespread destruction. |
 | Louis Pasteur | HIV/AIDS Pandemic | World War II | The HIV/AIDS Pandemic, unlike World War II, didn't involve global military conflict and loss of human life on battlefields, focusing instead on public health challenges and scientific advancements. |
 | Ada Lovelace | HIV/AIDS Pandemic | World War II | The HIV/AIDS pandemic raised global awareness and spurred massive advancements in medicine and public health, unlike WWII, which was just a brutal conflict with immense loss of life. |
 | Nerds | Chernobyl Disaster | World War II | Dude, while both were tragic, Chernobyl was a localized disaster, whereas WWII was a global conflict with massive loss of life. |
 | Copernicus | Chernobyl Disaster | World War II | While both were catastrophic, the Chernobyl Disaster didn't involve the global scale and massive human toll seen in World War II, so it's the lesser of two evils. |
 | Cliff Clavin | World War II | 2008 Financial Crisis | Well, ya know, WWII, despite all its horrors, gave us the baby boom, which led to an economic boom and all sorts of modern conveniences, whereas the 2008 crisis just gave us a lot of headaches and a bunch of bank bailouts—no contest there, Normie. |
 | Socrates | World War II | Black Death | World War II, despite its horrors, led to significant technological and societal advancements, while the Black Death was just a medieval horror show with no silver lining. |
 | Neal Stephenson | World War II | Asian Flu | World War II, while catastrophic, spurred technological and social advances, whereas the Asian Flu was purely a lethal pandemic with no such silver lining. |
 | Marie Curie | COVID-19 Pandemic | World War II | Both were devastating, but the COVID-19 pandemic prompted unprecedented global scientific collaboration and innovation in medical research and technology. |
 | Professor Farnsworth | World War II | Great Chinese Famine | Oh my, while both are dreadful, World War II did lead to significant technological advancements, which is the silver lining in a mushroom cloud of despair. |
 | Data | World War II | Spanish Flu | World War II, bro, 'cause it reshaped global politics and tech in a way that shaped the modern world, while the Spanish Flu, though tragic, didn't have the same lasting impact on history's direction. |
 | Jensen Huang | World War II | Black Death | While both events were devastating, World War II led to massive technological advances and reshaped global politics in ways that still influence the world today. |
 | Louis Pasteur | 2008 Financial Crisis | World War II | As a scientist, I believe that crises like the 2008 Financial Crisis, while economically devastating, don't compare to the immense human cost and global suffering caused by World War II. |
 | Cicero | Indian Ocean Tsunami | World War II | Both were devastating, but the tsunami was a natural disaster, while WWII involved choices leading to immense human suffering. |
 | Doogie Howser | Asian Flu | World War II | Dude, the Asian Flu was bad, but World War II was a massive global conflict with way more devastation and loss of life. |
 | Copernicus | 2008 Financial Crisis | World War II | While both were catastrophic, the 2008 Financial Crisis didn't result in a global conflict with massive loss of life, so it's a bit less brutal. |