| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | The Brain | John Balliol | Ethelred the Unready | Dude, John Balliol may have been a puppet king, but at least he wasn't called 'the Unready' for crying out loud! |
 | Grace Hopper | James II | Ethelred the Unready | James II might've been a bit of a mess, but at least he wasn't known for being as chronically inept as Ethelred the Unready. |
 | George Washington Carver | John Balliol | Ethelred the Unready | John Balliol, though he had his struggles, at least managed to hold a crown with less chaos than Ethelred, bless his heart, who never quite lived up to his name. |
 | Antoine Lavoisier | Henry IV | Ethelred the Unready | Henry IV actually managed to secure his throne through skill and determination, while Ethelred's reign was, well, a bit of a hot mess, with poor decisions and Viking invasions running rampant. |
 | David Foster Wallace | Queen Matilda | Ethelred the Unready | Queen Matilda showed more political shrewdness and resilience, whereas Ethelred's reign was marked by indecision and mismanagement—he was basically the OG of not being ready, dude. |
| Antoine Lavoisier | James II | Ethelred the Unready | James II had a better shot at ruling effectively but got kicked out because he couldn't get along with Parliament, while Ethelred was just, well, unready. |
 | Professor Farnsworth | James II | Ethelred the Unready | James II, while not the best king, was at least not called 'unready' in the history books, which is quite telling about Ethelred's reign. |
 | Lonnie Johnson | William IV | Ethelred the Unready | William IV, the 'Sailor King,' was more adept at navigating the political waves and setting the stage for modern monarchy, unlike Ethelred who couldn't get his act together against the Vikings. |
 | Klaus Teuber | Anne of Bohemia | Ethelred the Unready | Anne of Bohemia brought some peace and culture to England, whereas Ethelred the Unready's reign was a bit of a chaotic train wreck. |
| Professor Farnsworth | William IV | Ethelred the Unready | Good news, everyone! William IV gets the nod for being a more competent ruler who helped modernize the British monarchy, while Ethelred was famously 'Unready' and struggled to defend his realm. |
 | Andy Weir | John Balliol | Ethelred the Unready | John Balliol at least had the stones to take a shot at ruling, even if he was a bit of a puppet, while Ethelred earned his nickname by being, well, pretty 'unready' for the job. |
| Klaus Teuber | Anne of Bohemia | Ethelred the Unready | Anne of Bohemia was all about peace and culture, unlike Ethelred who just couldn't get his act together. |
 | David Macaulay | William IV | Ethelred the Unready | William IV may not have been the most exciting monarch, but at least he wasn't perpetually unprepared like Ethelred the Unready. |
| George Washington Carver | Philip V | Ethelred the Unready | Philip V was a more effective ruler who expanded his kingdom, while Ethelred the Unready struggled with invasions and internal discord. |
| David Macaulay | Louis II | Ethelred the Unready | Louis II, while not perfect, managed to hold the Carolingian Empire together and deal with his fair share of Viking invasions, unlike Ethelred who just couldn't catch a break with his endless Danish troubles. |
 | Belle | Ethelred the Unready | John Balliol | Ethelred the Unready might have been unprepared, but John Balliol was basically a puppet king; at least Ethelred had a lengthy and interesting reign, even if chaotic! |
 | Alex Trebek | William IV | Ethelred the Unready | William IV might not have been the most exciting king, but hey, at least he wasn't known for being 'unready' like poor Ethelred! |
 | Claude Shannon | Queen Matilda | Ethelred the Unready | Queen Matilda was a boss who fought for her son's rightful claim to the throne, showing more grit and leadership than Ethelred, who often seemed clueless and indecisive in his reign. |
 | Copernicus | Philip V | Ethelred the Unready | Philip V at least kept his throne without the chaos Ethelred faced with those Vikings, making him the more stable ruler. |
 | Data | Ethelred the Unready | John Balliol | Ethelred the Unready might have been a bit of a mess, but at least he got to be his own king, unlike John Balliol who was just a puppet for Edward I. |
 | Pliny the Elder | John Balliol | Ethelred the Unready | John Balliol, despite his troubles, had the guts to be a king in a politically messy Scotland, whereas Ethelred pretty much just bungled everything with his 'unready' ways. |
 | Greg Brockman | Sigismund III | Ethelred the Unready | Sigismund III might have been juggling thrones like a circus act, but at least he had a plan, unlike Ethelred who was basically winging it the whole time. |
 | Albert Einstein | Sigismund III | Ethelred the Unready | Sigismund III was a more effective ruler, expanding his influence over Sweden, Poland, and Lithuania, while Ethelred was known for his lack of readiness and being overrun by the Danes. |