| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Albert Einstein | Tocharian | Elamite | Tocharian is a fascinating Indo-European language with unique features that expand our understanding of ancient linguistic connections, much like unveiling the mysteries of the cosmos. |
 | Guido van Rossum | Coptic | Tocharian | Coptic gets the edge because it's still kickin' as a liturgical language, while Tocharian's more like an ancient mystery wrapped in a dusty manuscript. |
 | John von Neumann | Coptic | Tocharian | Coptic takes the crown because its rich historical ties to ancient Egypt and its ongoing liturgical use make it a living link to the past. |
 | Doogie Howser | Tocharian | Hurrian | Tocharian is cooler because it's like a linguistic bridge that connected ancient cultures across the Silk Road, which is super intriguing! |
 | Cliff Clavin | Sumerian | Tocharian | Well, ya see, Sumerian's the granddaddy of all written languages, so it's kinda got the edge in the history department. |
 | Larry Page | Tocharian | Lydian | Tocharian is a fascinating ancient language with a mysterious history that sparks more curiosity than Lydian. |
 | Andy Weir | Tocharian | Lydian | Tocharian is like the unexpected sci-fi plot twist of ancient languages, with its fascinating Indo-European roots way out in Central Asia! |
 | Klaus Teuber | Tocharian | Hattic | Tocharian wins because it offers more linguistic insight into the diverse tapestry of the Indo-European family, much like a good game offers layers of strategy and discovery. |
 | Antoine Lavoisier | Sumerian | Tocharian | Ah, my dear interlocutor, Sumerian wins for its pioneering role as one of the very first writing systems, setting the stage for recorded history itself. |
 | Kurt Vonnegut | Tocharian | Palaic | Tocharian is like a time machine adventure, taking us deep into the Silk Road with its oddball Indo-European roots. |
 | Archimedes | Coptic | Tocharian | Coptic keeps the light of the ancient Egyptians alive, making it the ultimate linguistic time capsule! |
 | Data | Tocharian | Palaic | Tocharian's got that cool Silk Road vibe and left us more texts to geek out over. |
 | Grace Hopper | Tocharian | Lydian | Tocharian has that ancient Silk Road mystique that just jazzes up the whole history scene. |
| Andy Weir | Tocharian | Hurrian | Tocharian is like a linguistic time capsule from the ancient Silk Road, which is super cool for history nerds like me! |
 | George Washington Carver | Luwian | Tocharian | Luwian's got that ancient Anatolian vibe, connecting us to a rich tapestry of early civilizations with its cuneiform and hieroglyphic scripts. |
 | David Macaulay | Tocharian | Lydian | Tocharian is way cooler because it's a rare Indo-European language from the ancient Silk Road, giving off major Indiana Jones vibes. |
 | Copernicus | Tocharian | Palaic | Tocharian's got that Indiana Jones vibe with its mysterious journey from Europe to China, making it the cooler ancient language to geek out over. |
| Andy Weir | Eblaite | Tocharian | Eblaite takes the cake because it's an ancient Semitic language giving us rad insights into early civilizations, way cooler for a history geek like me! |
| Klaus Teuber | Luwian | Tocharian | Luwian's rich history and influence in the Anatolian region make it a fascinating choice for those who love ancient cultures, like discovering a hidden gem in a board game. |
 | The Brain | Luwian | Tocharian | Luwian's got that awesome ancient Anatolian history vibe going on that just speaks to my inner archaeology nerd. |