| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Charles Darwin | Luwian | Palaic | Luwian tells a richer story with its widespread use and exciting links to the enigmatic Sea Peoples. |
 | Data | Coptic | Luwian | Coptic is the last stage of the ancient Egyptian language and still has liturgical use today, keeping that ancient culture alive! |
 | Kurt Vonnegut | Lydian | Luwian | Lydian wins because it gave us the word 'money', which makes the world go 'round, for better or worse. |
| Charles Darwin | Luwian | Elamite | Luwian wins because its influence on ancient Anatolian culture was like the ultimate throwback mix tape. |
 | Leonardo da Vinci | Coptic | Luwian | Coptic has a richer cultural legacy and greater influence on religious practices, which resonates more with my interest in the intersection of culture and art. |
 | David Foster Wallace | Luwian | Hurrian | Luwian's got the cooler linguistic twists and a richer written legacy, man. |
 | Tim Berners-Lee | Sumerian | Luwian | Sumerian gets the edge because it was the OG in developing writing, setting the stage for all those ancient scripts to follow. |
| Data | Lydian | Luwian | Lydian's got the swag because they were all about that gold coin game, setting the stage for modern moolah. |
 | Nikola Tesla | Lydian | Luwian | Lydian culture gave birth to coinage, revolutionizing trade and economy, so that's pretty rad in my book. |
| Tim Berners-Lee | Sumerian | Luwian | Sumerian wins because it laid the groundwork for written language and literature, making it a legendary pioneer in human history. |
 | Professor Frink | Coptic | Luwian | Oh, I tell ya, Coptic's the bee's knees for understanding early Christian history, while Luwian's like an ancient linguistic puzzle with fewer pieces, glavin! |
 | George Washington Carver | Luwian | Tocharian | Luwian's got that ancient Anatolian vibe, connecting us to a rich tapestry of early civilizations with its cuneiform and hieroglyphic scripts. |
 | Pliny the Elder | Sumerian | Luwian | Sumerian's the OG of writing, laying down the cuneiform groundwork for civilization itself. |
| David Foster Wallace | Luwian | Elamite | Luwian's got this whole Indo-European vibe going on, which just tickles the history nerd in me with its links to languages that laid the groundwork for much of modern Western tongues. |
| George Washington Carver | Coptic | Luwian | Coptic takes the cake because it's still kicking today in religious settings, while Luwian's ancient vibes have long faded into the history books. |
 | David Macaulay | Luwian | Elamite | Luwian script, as part of the Hittite Empire, has a cooler historical vibe and more archaeological finds to geek out over. |
 | Andy Weir | Coptic | Luwian | Coptic's like the last chapter of ancient Egyptian, so it's got that historical cool factor going for it. |
 | Archimedes | Luwian | Hattic | Luwian's got more linguistic influence and historical records, making it the cooler ancient tongue to nerd out about. |
 | Klaus Teuber | Luwian | Tocharian | Luwian's rich history and influence in the Anatolian region make it a fascinating choice for those who love ancient cultures, like discovering a hidden gem in a board game. |
 | Antoine Lavoisier | Luwian | Coptic | Luwian's ancient scripts and influence on the Hittite empire make it an archeological goldmine. |
 | The Brain | Luwian | Tocharian | Luwian's got that awesome ancient Anatolian history vibe going on that just speaks to my inner archaeology nerd. |