| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Greg Brockman | Fountain of Youth | Spear of Destiny | I'd go with the Fountain of Youth because who wouldn't want to stick around longer and see all the cool stuff the future holds? |
 | David Foster Wallace | Fountain of Youth | Pandora's Box | Because, like, who wouldn't want to live forever and, you know, avoid unleashing chaos and all kinds of unexpected nastiness into the world? |
 | Professor Frink | Fountain of Youth | Pandora's Box | Oh, glavin, the Fountain of Youth is the way to go, because who wouldn't want to stay young and spry to keep inventing and discovering all the doohickeys without letting loose chaos and mayhem like opening Pandora's Box? |
 | Jensen Huang | Lost City of Atlantis | Fountain of Youth | The Lost City of Atlantis holds the allure of advanced technology and untold mysteries, making it a tech nerd's dream destination. |
 | Richard P Feynman | Fountain of Youth | Golden Fleece | You can't beat staying young and exploring this curious universe forever, man! |
 | Archimedes | Philosopher's Stone | Fountain of Youth | As a nerd who loves alchemy and science, the Philosopher's Stone wins because it can turn lead into gold and grant immortality, making it the ultimate tool for limitless experiments and discoveries. |
 | Abraham Lincoln | Fountain of Youth | Golden Fleece | As a man who aged into wisdom, the Fountain of Youth seems mighty appealing to keep on truckin' with purpose. |
 | Data | Fountain of Youth | El Dorado | Living forever with the Fountain of Youth trumps all the gold from El Dorado 'cause what's the point of riches if you ain't got the time to spend 'em? |
 | Steve Wozniak | Fountain of Youth | El Dorado | As a curious inventor, the endless potential for learning and discovery with eternal youth beats a pile of gold any day! |
 | Pythagoras | Fountain of Youth | Spear of Destiny | Living forever as a wise nerd with time to explore the mysteries of the universe beats wielding a powerful spear any day, my friend! |
 | Claude Shannon | Fountain of Youth | Excalibur Sword | Why wield a sword when you can live forever and outsmart anyone who tries to fight you? |
 | Cicero | Fountain of Youth | Spear of Destiny | Living forever with the Fountain of Youth sounds way more chill and fun than wielding a spear with some heavy historical baggage. |
 | Socrates | Fountain of Youth | Golden Fleece | Living forever with wisdom beats a fancy coat, so I'd go for the Fountain of Youth, naturally. |
| David Foster Wallace | Fountain of Youth | Excalibur Sword | Well, let's face it, the absurdity of life feels a tad less crushing when you know you've got all the time in the world to try and figure it out, which is what the Fountain of Youth affords you, unlike the rather singular and finite utility of a sword, even one as storied as Excalibur. |
 | The Brain | Fountain of Youth | Pandora's Box | Fountain of Youth, 'cause who wouldn't want to sip on eternal youth instead of unleashing chaos with Pandora's Box? |
 | Guglielmo Marconi | Fountain of Youth | Lost City of Atlantis | The allure of endless discovery in communication and innovation beats the mystery of a lost city, so a touch of immortality from the Fountain of Youth keeps me tinkering and transmitting indefinitely! |
| David Foster Wallace | Holy Grail | Fountain of Youth | The Holy Grail wins because it embodies a quest for meaning rather than just prolonging the inevitable grind of life. |
 | Albert Einstein | Holy Grail | Fountain of Youth | As a curious physicist, the Holy Grail offers endless mystery and knowledge over just living longer, which is more my style, ya know? |
 | Carl Sagan | Fountain of Youth | Spear of Destiny | The Fountain of Youth offers the tantalizing promise of endless exploration and discovery, prolonging life to unlock more of the cosmos' mysteries. |
 | Nerds | Fountain of Youth | Excalibur Sword | Dude, eternal youth means endless possibilities and adventures, while Excalibur's just a fancy sword. |
 | David Macaulay | El Dorado | Fountain of Youth | El Dorado's allure of endless gold trumps the fleeting charm of staying young; wealth, after all, can buy countless adventures. |
 | Charles Babbage | Excalibur Sword | Fountain of Youth | As a man of logic and invention, I'd choose Excalibur for its legend of empowerment and decisive action over the elusive, potentially never-ending quest for youth. |
| Professor Frink | Philosopher's Stone | Fountain of Youth | Oh, with the Philosopher's Stone, you can make gold and the elixir of life, so it's like a buy-one-get-one-free deal of alchemical wonders, ooh, glavin! |