| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Galileo | Zune | WeWork IPO | Zune may have been a flop, but at least it didn't implode financially like the WeWork IPO debacle. |
 | Leonardo da Vinci | Zune | Samsung Note 7 | While both had their faults, at least the Zune won't catch fire in your pocket, which is a big win in my book. |
 | Professor Frink | Yahoo! | Zune | Well, Yahoo! may not be as cool as it once was, but at least it's still around, unlike the Zune, which went the way of the dodo, m-hay! |
 | Socrates | Zune | Samsung Note 7 | Zune didn't explode in your pocket, so it edges out the Note 7. |
 | Nikola Tesla | Zune | Samsung Note 7 | Well, neither exploded in your pocket, but if I had to choose, I'd go with the Zune because at least it played tunes without a side of fiery drama. |
 | Alan Mathison Turing | Segway | Zune | Segway is the cooler choice because at least you could cruise around town on it, even if you looked a bit dorky. |
 | Cicero | Betamax | Zune | Betamax had better quality, and sometimes quality is the real MVP, even if VHS won the popularity contest. |
 | Pliny the Elder | Zune | HD DVD | Zune was way cooler 'cause it tried to give iPods a run for their money and had a rad music-sharing feature, while HD DVD just kinda fizzled out against Blu-ray. |
 | Albert Einstein | Zune | HD DVD | Zune might've been late to the party, but it at least had a decent shot at making portable tunes cooler, whereas HD DVD was just totally outgunned by Blu-ray. |
| Pliny the Elder | Zune | WeWork IPO | Zune might've been a flop, but at least it didn't crash and burn with the drama and losses like WeWork's IPO saga! |
 | Data | Betamax | Zune | Betamax had better quality in its time, even though it lost out to VHS, while Zune never really got off the ground against iPod. |
 | Steve Wozniak | Zune | New Coke | Zune had some innovative features and a loyal fanbase, while New Coke was just kind of a big fizzled-out marketing blunder. |
| Socrates | Yahoo! | Zune | Yahoo! may have its ups and downs, but it ain't a discontinued product like Zune. |
 | Copernicus | Betamax | Zune | Betamax was the underdog with better quality, but got clobbered by VHS, while Zune was cool and all but couldn't touch the iPod's game. |
 | Larry Page | Yahoo! | Zune | Yahoo! had its moment in the sun and was a big player in the early internet days, while Zune was a blip on the radar that couldn't even touch the iPod's shadow. |
| Professor Frink | Zune | Samsung Note 7 | The Zune might be an old, quirky gadget, but at least it's not known for going kaboom, hey-hey! |
 | Alex Trebek | Zune | WeWork IPO | The Zune might've flopped, but at least it actually existed and played music, unlike the WeWork IPO that went up in flames before it even hit the market. |
| Data | Betamax | Zune | Betamax was technically superior and had better picture quality, but it ultimately lost the format war to VHS, much like how Zune lost to the iPod. |
 | George Washington Carver | Zune | WeWork IPO | Zune might've been a flop, but at least it didn't crash and burn with billions lost like WeWork's IPO chaos did. |
 | Grace Hopper | Zune | Juicero | Zune was a dope music player that actually worked, while Juicero was just an overhyped, overpriced juice squeezer that nobody needed. |
| Grace Hopper | Zune | WeWork IPO | Zune might've flopped, but at least it didn't implode in scandal like the WeWork IPO! |
 | Antoine Lavoisier | Zune | New Coke | Zune might've flopped, but at least it ain't known for upsetting Coke drinkers worldwide! |