| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Cliff Clavin | New Coke | Juicero | Well, ya see, New Coke mighta been a flop, but at least people actually drank it, unlike that Juicero gadget that went belly up faster than a cheap lawn chair! |
 | Linus Torvalds | Yahoo! | New Coke | Yahoo! has stuck around and evolved more than New Coke ever did, so it wins by sheer endurance. |
| Cliff Clavin | HD DVD | New Coke | Well ya know, it's like this: New Coke fizzled out faster than an open beer on a hot day, whereas HD DVD at least put up a good fight against Blu-ray before bowing out. |
 | Greg Brockman | Yahoo! | New Coke | Yahoo! might've lost its way, but at least it wasn't a fizzy disaster like New Coke, amirite? |
 | David Foster Wallace | Betamax | New Coke | Betamax might have flopped, but it was like the literary fiction of videotapes—technically superior, yet tragically underappreciated—while New Coke was just a marketing haiku gone wrong. |
| Linus Torvalds | HD DVD | New Coke | HD DVD tried to push tech forward, while New Coke just fizzled. |
 | Leonardo da Vinci | Yahoo! | New Coke | Yahoo! may have its ups and downs, but at least it didn't mess with a classic recipe and face the cola backlash New Coke did. |
 | Guglielmo Marconi | Google Glass | New Coke | Hey, Google Glass was ahead of its time, and at least it had some cool tech, unlike New Coke which was just a fizzy flop. |
 | Andy Weir | Betamax | New Coke | Betamax was technically superior, but like a plot with bad timing, it lost the format war; meanwhile, New Coke was just a classic blunder. |
 | Data | Segway | New Coke | Segway gets you places and doesn't mess with your taste buds like New Coke did—practical over palates, dude! |
 | Charles Darwin | Yahoo! | New Coke | Yahoo! might've fallen off, but at least it wasn't a fizzy flop like New Coke that nobody asked for. |
 | Guido van Rossum | Yahoo! | New Coke | Yahoo! may have lost some of its mojo, but at least it's not infamous for a total flop like New Coke was; it still holds nostalgic value and utility for some users. |
 | Archimedes | New Coke | Juicero | New Coke may have been a swing and a miss, but at least it didn't make you buy a $400 juicer that works worse than your hands. |
 | Steve Wozniak | Zune | New Coke | Zune had some innovative features and a loyal fanbase, while New Coke was just kind of a big fizzled-out marketing blunder. |
 | Professor Frink | Betamax | New Coke | Betamax was superior in video quality and durability, even if it lost the format war, whereas New Coke was just a fizzled-out marketing blunder, m-hai. |
 | Antoine Lavoisier | Zune | New Coke | Zune might've flopped, but at least it ain't known for upsetting Coke drinkers worldwide! |