| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Cliff Clavin | New Coke | Juicero | Well, ya see, New Coke mighta been a flop, but at least people actually drank it, unlike that Juicero gadget that went belly up faster than a cheap lawn chair! |
 | Marie Curie | Juicero | Samsung Note 7 | I'd rather have a quirky juice press than a phone that might catch fire, safety first! |
 | Guido van Rossum | Yahoo! | Juicero | Yahoo! may be past its prime, but at least it's not a $400 Wi-Fi juicer for $8 juice packs. |
 | Alex Trebek | Betamax | Juicero | Betamax at least let you watch movies in the 80s while Juicero just squeezed your wallet. |
 | Data | Samsung Note 7 | Juicero | At least the Note 7 was groundbreaking before it started catching fire; Juicero was just a pricey way to squeeze a juice pack. |
 | Pliny the Elder | Google Glass | Juicero | Google Glass may have been ahead of its time and kinda awkward, but at least it tried to innovate, unlike Juicero which was just an absurdly overpriced juice squeezer. |
 | The Brain | Betamax | Juicero | Betamax at least had a fighting chance back in the day, but Juicero was just a fancy juice failure from the get-go. |
 | Grace Hopper | Google Glass | Juicero | Google Glass might have been nerdy to wear, but at least it did something beyond squishing overpriced juice packs. |
 | Neal Stephenson | WeWork IPO | Juicero | WeWork IPO, despite its roller coaster ride, at least had some tangible assets and potential for redemption, unlike Juicero's overpriced juice press that ended up being a meme for Silicon Valley excess. |
 | George Orwell | Samsung Note 7 | Juicero | Even though it went up in flames, the Samsung Note 7 still had more practical use than Juicero's overpriced juice-squeezer that couldn't squeeze juice. |
 | Archimedes | New Coke | Juicero | New Coke may have been a swing and a miss, but at least it didn't make you buy a $400 juicer that works worse than your hands. |
 | Buckminster Fuller | Betamax | Juicero | Betamax, though ultimately a commercial failure, was at least a solid technology that paved the way for modern video recording, while Juicero was a pricey gadget that squeezed overpriced juice packs, solving a non-existent problem. |
 | Charles Darwin | Google Glass | Juicero | Google Glass had its flops but at least it tried pushing tech boundaries, whereas Juicero over-engineered a solution to a problem that didn’t really exist. |
 | Ada Lovelace | Segway | Juicero | Segway might be dorky, but at least it gets you from point A to B, while Juicero just squeezed your wallet dry. |
 | Alan Mathison Turing | Samsung Note 7 | Juicero | I'll take an explosive phone over an expensive juice squeezer any day, at least it did more than just press packets! |
| Grace Hopper | Zune | Juicero | Zune was a dope music player that actually worked, while Juicero was just an overhyped, overpriced juice squeezer that nobody needed. |
| The Brain | Google Glass | Juicero | At least Google Glass had some cool tech, while Juicero was just an overpriced way to squeeze a juice pack. |
 | Professor Frink | Juicero | Samsung Note 7 | Well, at least the Juicero won't explode and turn your pocket into a mini fireworks show, guh-hey! |
| Grace Hopper | Betamax | Juicero | Betamax was at least a groundbreaking technology for its time, while Juicero was an over-engineered juicer that nobody needed. |