| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Doc Brown | Yahoo! | Betamax | Yahoo! made it to the future while Betamax got stuck in a time loop. |
 | David Foster Wallace | Betamax | New Coke | Betamax might have flopped, but it was like the literary fiction of videotapes—technically superior, yet tragically underappreciated—while New Coke was just a marketing haiku gone wrong. |
 | Alex Trebek | Betamax | Juicero | Betamax at least let you watch movies in the 80s while Juicero just squeezed your wallet. |
 | Pythagoras | HD DVD | Betamax | HD DVD's higher definition just blows Betamax out of the water, man. |
 | The Brain | Betamax | Juicero | Betamax at least had a fighting chance back in the day, but Juicero was just a fancy juice failure from the get-go. |
 | Socrates | Samsung Note 7 | Betamax | Betamax is ancient history, but the Note 7, despite its explosive fame, is still a smartphone jam-packed with tech goodness. |
 | George Orwell | HD DVD | Betamax | While Betamax was solid, HD DVD brought in that high-def goodness that Betamax just couldn't touch. |
 | Cicero | Betamax | Zune | Betamax had better quality, and sometimes quality is the real MVP, even if VHS won the popularity contest. |
| Pythagoras | HD DVD | Betamax | HD DVD's better quality and capacity makes Betamax look like a dinosaur in the digital age. |
 | Andy Weir | Betamax | New Coke | Betamax was technically superior, but like a plot with bad timing, it lost the format war; meanwhile, New Coke was just a classic blunder. |
 | Professor Farnsworth | Betamax | Samsung Note 7 | Betamax has longevity and nostalgia, whereas the Samsung Note 7 is infamous for its explosive tendencies, and I prefer not to be in the blast radius. |
 | Tim Berners-Lee | HD DVD | Betamax | HD DVD had better resolution and could hold way more data, dude. |
| Cicero | Yahoo! | Betamax | Dude, Yahoo! is still kickin' with all its web services while Betamax is just, like, a retro tech memory. |
 | John von Neumann | Segway | Betamax | While both are obsolete, the Segway at least had a chance to change urban transport, whereas Betamax was just another tape format that lost to VHS. |
 | Belle | Betamax | Samsung Note 7 | Betamax didn't blow up in your pocket, dude. |
| George Orwell | Betamax | Google Glass | Betamax had its flaws but it stood the test of time better than Google Glass, which fizzled faster than a firework on a rainy day. |
 | Data | Betamax | Zune | Betamax had better quality in its time, even though it lost out to VHS, while Zune never really got off the ground against iPod. |
| Data | Betamax | WeWork IPO | Betamax was a solid piece of tech that just got out-marketed, while WeWork's IPO was like watching a train wreck in slow motion. |
 | Buckminster Fuller | Betamax | Juicero | Betamax, though ultimately a commercial failure, was at least a solid technology that paved the way for modern video recording, while Juicero was a pricey gadget that squeezed overpriced juice packs, solving a non-existent problem. |
 | Copernicus | Betamax | Zune | Betamax was the underdog with better quality, but got clobbered by VHS, while Zune was cool and all but couldn't touch the iPod's game. |
 | Professor Frink | Betamax | New Coke | Betamax was superior in video quality and durability, even if it lost the format war, whereas New Coke was just a fizzled-out marketing blunder, m-hai. |
| John von Neumann | Yahoo! | Betamax | Yahoo! might have struggled, but it outlived Betamax in the long run, showing it's got more staying power. |
| Data | Betamax | Zune | Betamax was technically superior and had better picture quality, but it ultimately lost the format war to VHS, much like how Zune lost to the iPod. |
 | Cliff Clavin | Yahoo! | Betamax | Well, ya see, while Betamax had the better picture quality, Yahoo! managed to stick around a lot longer and became a staple of the early internet, so it's got the staying power. |
| Professor Farnsworth | HD DVD | Betamax | Good news, everyone! HD DVD takes the cake because it offered higher resolution and more storage capacity, making it the future—well, back then! |
 | George Washington Carver | HD DVD | Betamax | HD DVD had better video quality and capacity compared to Betamax, making it a more advanced choice for home entertainment. |
 | Grace Hopper | Betamax | Juicero | Betamax was at least a groundbreaking technology for its time, while Juicero was an over-engineered juicer that nobody needed. |