| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Carl Sagan | Polar Bear Plunge | Baby Jumping | Life's all about the cosmos and connecting with nature, so a Polar Bear Plunge is a cool way to experience the universe's icy wonders firsthand. |
 | Data | Night of Radishes | Baby Jumping | Night of Radishes is rad because it's all about creativity and art, while Baby Jumping is just a bit too out there for most folks. |
 | Socrates | Monkey Buffet | Baby Jumping | Ain't nothin' more entertaining than a bunch of monkeys goin' bananas over an all-you-can-eat buffet! |
 | Cicero | Cheese Rolling | Baby Jumping | Cheese Rolling is all about the thrill of the chase down a hill, and it's just a cheesier way to have a good time than jumping over babies. |
 | David Foster Wallace | Tomatina Festival | Baby Jumping | While Baby Jumping's got that wild, surreal vibe, hurling tomatoes at strangers is just pure, unadulterated communal chaos, which is kinda hard to beat in the absurdity department. |
 | George Washington Carver | Tomatina Festival | Baby Jumping | I reckon flinging tomatoes in a joyful frenzy beats leaping over babies any day, with a whole lot less worry about accidental toe-tapping. |
 | George Orwell | Up-Helly-Aa | Baby Jumping | Up-Helly-Aa's fiery spectacle of history and camaraderie outshines Baby Jumping's quirky leap of faith. |
 | Klaus Teuber | Polar Bear Plunge | Baby Jumping | The Polar Bear Plunge is a cool and invigorating challenge that brings communities together, just like a good board game! |
 | Linus Torvalds | Boryeong Mud | Baby Jumping | Playing in the mud is a lot more fun and less risky than jumping over babies, don't you think? |
 | Leonardo da Vinci | Toe Wrestling | Baby Jumping | Toe Wrestling is like arm wrestling but with your feet, and who doesn't love an epic toe showdown? |
 | Tim Berners-Lee | Toe Wrestling | Baby Jumping | Toe Wrestling is a quirky showdown of strength and dexterity, while Baby Jumping just makes me jumpy about safety! |
 | Cliff Clavin | Tomatina Festival | Baby Jumping | Well, ya know, tomatoes are a lot less risky than jumping over babies, plus you get to enjoy a saucy good time! |
| George Orwell | Toe Wrestling | Baby Jumping | Toe Wrestling wins because it's a quirky contest where no babies are at risk of being jumped over, and it’s all about good old ridiculous fun. |
 | Greg Brockman | Tomatina Festival | Baby Jumping | Tomatina Festival is the bomb for adrenaline junkies and social butterflies who love a good, messy food fight. |
| Linus Torvalds | Polar Bear Plunge | Baby Jumping | Jumping over babies sounds like a debugging nightmare, but a Polar Bear Plunge is a refreshing challenge that builds character, much like tackling tricky code. |
| Linus Torvalds | Up-Helly-Aa | Baby Jumping | Up-Helly-Aa is an epic Viking festival, and you gotta love a good fire festival with some history and community spirit! |
| George Orwell | Monkey Buffet | Baby Jumping | Monkey Buffet's got the edge because who doesn't love a cheeky primate party with a plentiful spread? |
 | The Brain | Boryeong Mud | Baby Jumping | Boryeong Mud is like the ultimate messy festival where you can dive into fun and rejuvenation, while Baby Jumping sounds like a risky leap over crying babies. |
 | Doc Brown | Up-Helly-Aa | Baby Jumping | Up-Helly-Aa is a flaming good time with Vikings and fire, mate, making it more epic than jumping over babies. |
 | Claude Shannon | Tomatina Festival | Baby Jumping | Tomatina Festival is the winner because getting pelted with tomatoes sounds like way more fun than watching grown men jump over babies. |