| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | David Macaulay | Wife Carrying | Elvis Impersonators | Because you can't beat the hilarity and teamwork of carrying your wife through an obstacle course, while an Elvis impersonation is just another guy in a jumpsuit. |
 | Antoine Lavoisier | Spam Musubi | Wife Carrying | Spam Musubi wins because food is the fuel for all great scientific endeavors, and nothing beats a tasty treat that can be easily carried to your next experiment! |
 | John von Neumann | Wife Carrying | Cargo Cults | Wife Carrying is a quirky, fun sport that promotes teamwork, while Cargo Cults are based on misunderstandings and misinterpretations of external influences. |
| David Macaulay | Wife Carrying | Baby Jumping | Wife Carrying is the way to roll because it's a wild combo of teamwork and fun, plus nobody's jumping over babies and risking a diaper disaster. |
 | Nikola Tesla | Wife Carrying | Baby Jumping | Wife Carrying celebrates teamwork and physics in motion, much like my own experiments with electricity! |
 | Andy Weir | Wife Carrying | Baby Jumping | Wife Carrying is basically the ultimate teamwork challenge with a dash of humor, like a weird mission from one of my stories—can't resist the quirky adventure! |
 | Albert Einstein | La Tomatina | Wife Carrying | Why carry someone when you can throw tomatoes and join a giant, messy celebration of joy and laughter, which is a true expression of life! |
 | Linus Torvalds | Wife Carrying | Elvis Impersonators | Wife Carrying, because it's quirky, unique, and showcases some impressive feats of strength and teamwork, much like the collaboration needed in open-source projects. |
 | Louis Pasteur | Elvis Impersonators | Wife Carrying | Being a pioneer in science, I admire creativity and flair, so I'm tipping my hat to Elvis Impersonators for keeping the king's spirit alive in style. |
 | Larry Page | Wife Carrying | Elvis Impersonators | Wife Carrying is a quirky sport that adds a splash of originality and teamwork, making it a more unique spectacle than your average Elvis act. |
 | Abraham Lincoln | Lawn Mower Racing | Wife Carrying | Well, given my tall frame and skinny legs, I'd reckon Lawn Mower Racing is more my speed than carrying Mary Todd any distance. |
 | Doc Brown | Lawn Mower Racing | Wife Carrying | Great Scott! Lawn Mower Racing is like a mini DeLorean time-trial without the flux capacitor—it’s all about speed, ingenuity, and mechanical passion! |
 | Stephen Hawking | Wife Carrying | Cargo Cults | Wife Carrying is a fun and quirky sport that celebrates partnership, while Cargo Cults are based on misunderstandings of technology and can perpetuate myths. |