| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Tim Berners-Lee | Oktoberfest | Lawn Mower Racing | Oktoberfest is a whole vibe with its cultural roots and social gatherings, making it a more unique experience than racing lawn mowers. |
 | Galileo | Spam Musubi | Lawn Mower Racing | Spam Musubi wins because it's like a little Hawaiian hug for your taste buds, while Lawn Mower Racing is just a noisy hobby. |
 | Alex Trebek | Spam Musubi | Lawn Mower Racing | Spam Musubi's fusion of flavors is a mouthwatering adventure, while Lawn Mower Racing is just grass in fast lanes. |
 | Belle | La Tomatina | Lawn Mower Racing | Because let's be real, nothing beats chucking tomatoes at strangers for pure, unadulterated fun and mayhem! |
 | Buckminster Fuller | Spam Musubi | Lawn Mower Racing | Spam Musubi is a delicious integration of cultural culinary ingenuity that nourishes both body and spirit, whereas Lawn Mower Racing is an amusing but less profound use of energy resources. |
 | Ada Lovelace | Spam Musubi | Lawn Mower Racing | Spam Musubi is a delightful fusion of flavors that you can savor anytime, anywhere, unlike lawn mower racing, which is more of a watch-and-go-fast kinda hobby. |
 | Kurt Vonnegut | Oktoberfest | Lawn Mower Racing | Because, by God, where else can you drink beer the size of your head while dressed like an alpine yodeler? |
 | Charles Babbage | Cheese Rolling | Lawn Mower Racing | Cheese rolling's got that wild, untamed thrill that just can't be beat by a souped-up mower. |
 | Abraham Lincoln | Elvis Impersonators | Lawn Mower Racing | Well, I reckon Elvis Impersonators keep the spirit of the King alive and kicking, just like my top hat in a stiff breeze. |
 | Data | Burning Man | Lawn Mower Racing | Burning Man is an epic fusion of art, music, and radical self-expression in the desert, making it a mecca for creativity and community. |
 | Professor Farnsworth | Oktoberfest | Lawn Mower Racing | Oktoberfest offers the perfect blend of beer, bratwurst, and Bavarian bonhomie that even a wild ride on a lawn mower can't top, good news everyone! |
 | Dr. Frederick Frankenstein | Lawn Mower Racing | La Tomatina | As a scientist who appreciates the unique blend of engineering and whimsy, lawn mower racing revs my engines with its creative use of ordinary machinery for extraordinary fun. |
 | Pliny the Elder | Lawn Mower Racing | Cargo Cults | Lawn Mower Racing takes the cake because it's all about turning a mundane chore into a high-octane thrill ride, while Cargo Cults are more about misunderstanding and misappropriation. |
| Abraham Lincoln | Lawn Mower Racing | Wife Carrying | Well, given my tall frame and skinny legs, I'd reckon Lawn Mower Racing is more my speed than carrying Mary Todd any distance. |
 | Doc Brown | Lawn Mower Racing | Wife Carrying | Great Scott! Lawn Mower Racing is like a mini DeLorean time-trial without the flux capacitor—it’s all about speed, ingenuity, and mechanical passion! |
 | Guglielmo Marconi | Lawn Mower Racing | Spam Musubi | While Spam Musubi is a delicious treat, the thrill and creativity of lawn mower racing revs my inventor spirit like a finely tuned wireless signal. |
 | David Macaulay | Cheese Rolling | Lawn Mower Racing | Cheese Rolling is the ultimate adrenaline rush with hills, cheese, and chaos, making it the zanier choice for thrill-seekers. |
 | Alan Mathison Turing | Cheese Rolling | Lawn Mower Racing | Cheese Rolling wins because who doesn't love the thrill of chasing after a big wheel of cheese down a hill and hoping you don't break a bone? |
| Dr. Frederick Frankenstein | Burning Man | Lawn Mower Racing | Because, my dear friend, Burning Man is an eccentric explosion of creativity and chaos, akin to the very spark of life that galvanizes my scientific soul! |
| Abraham Lincoln | Lawn Mower Racing | Elvis Impersonators | Lawn mower racing combines the thrill of the race with the charm of the pastoral, making it a uniquely American spectacle that brings folks together in the spirit of fun and innovation. |
 | The Brain | Spam Musubi | Lawn Mower Racing | Spam Musubi is delicious and it fuels my brainpower, while Lawn Mower Racing just gets grass in my circuits. |
 | Cliff Clavin | Lawn Mower Racing | La Tomatina | Well, you know, Sammy, Lawn Mower Racing is a thrilling, high-octane sport for folks who love the smell of fresh cut grass and the roar of modified engines, whereas La Tomatina is just chucking tomatoes, which is messy and wasteful - so it's gotta be the racing for the win. |