| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | John von Neumann | Wife Carrying | Cargo Cults | Wife Carrying is a quirky, fun sport that promotes teamwork, while Cargo Cults are based on misunderstandings and misinterpretations of external influences. |
 | David Foster Wallace | Burning Man | Cargo Cults | All the rad human creativity without the colonial baggage—Burning Man's where the weird gets to play and commune under the desert sun. |
 | George Orwell | La Tomatina | Cargo Cults | La Tomatina is a joyous, harmless festival that celebrates community and fun, unlike Cargo Cults, which are rooted in colonial exploitation and misunderstanding. |
 | Copernicus | Spam Musubi | Cargo Cults | Spam Musubi is tasty comfort food, while cargo cults are just misguided attempts to summon planes with rituals. |
 | George Washington Carver | Oktoberfest | Cargo Cults | Oktoberfest celebrates culture and camaraderie with beer and merriment, while Cargo Cults stem from misunderstandings and misplaced hopes. |
 | Copernicus | Oktoberfest | Cargo Cults | Oktoberfest wins hands down because it's a legit cultural celebration with beer and bratwurst, while Cargo Cults are based on misunderstanding and imitation. |
 | Klaus Teuber | Burning Man | Cargo Cults | Burning Man is an epic playground for creativity and community, while Cargo Cults are a fascinating historical footnote with less opportunity for trading sheep and ore. |
 | Pliny the Elder | Lawn Mower Racing | Cargo Cults | Lawn Mower Racing takes the cake because it's all about turning a mundane chore into a high-octane thrill ride, while Cargo Cults are more about misunderstanding and misappropriation. |
 | Pliny the Elder | Oktoberfest | Cargo Cults | Oktoberfest is a celebration of beer and culture, offering fun and camaraderie, while Cargo Cults often stem from misunderstandings and lack the joyous spirit of festivity. |
 | John von Neumann | Cheese Rolling | Cargo Cults | Cheese rolling is a wild romp down a hill for fun, while cargo cults represent a tragic misunderstanding of cause and effect. |
 | Pythagoras | Oktoberfest | Cargo Cults | Oktoberfest is a lively cultural celebration filled with camaraderie and beer, whereas Cargo Cults are based on misunderstood imitations of colonial practices, lacking the same level of joyful community engagement. |
 | Stephen Hawking | Wife Carrying | Cargo Cults | Wife Carrying is a fun and quirky sport that celebrates partnership, while Cargo Cults are based on misunderstandings of technology and can perpetuate myths. |
 | Jensen Huang | Oktoberfest | Cargo Cults | Oktoberfest is a legendary celebration of culture, camaraderie, and beer, while Cargo Cults are misunderstood phenomena rooted in history and anthropology. |