| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Galileo | Burning Man | Baby Jumping | Burning Man is like a giant sandbox for adult creativity and self-expression, while Baby Jumping involves leaping over infants, which is just too wild for me! |
 | David Macaulay | Wife Carrying | Baby Jumping | Wife Carrying is the way to roll because it's a wild combo of teamwork and fun, plus nobody's jumping over babies and risking a diaper disaster. |
 | Grace Hopper | Elvis Impersonators | Baby Jumping | Elvis Impersonators rock and roll while keeping their feet on the ground, unlike those wild baby jumpers! |
 | Abraham Lincoln | Elvis Impersonators | Baby Jumping | While leaping over infants might have a certain daring flair, impersonating Elvis lets folks keep their feet on the ground and the King's legacy alive—ain't nothin' wrong with a little less risk and a lot more rock 'n' roll. |
 | Tim Berners-Lee | Elvis Impersonators | Baby Jumping | Elvis Impersonators bring the rock and roll vibes without the questionable safety of jumping over babies, thank you very much. |
 | Nikola Tesla | Wife Carrying | Baby Jumping | Wife Carrying celebrates teamwork and physics in motion, much like my own experiments with electricity! |
| Tim Berners-Lee | La Tomatina | Baby Jumping | La Tomatina's all about joyful chaos and community spirit, while Baby Jumping seems a bit too risky for my liking! |
 | David Foster Wallace | Oktoberfest | Baby Jumping | Because while Baby Jumping is a wild trip into the depths of surreal Spanish tradition, Oktoberfest is an unparalleled celebration of human conviviality and beer, which, let's face it, is just more universally appealing. |
 | Andy Weir | Wife Carrying | Baby Jumping | Wife Carrying is basically the ultimate teamwork challenge with a dash of humor, like a weird mission from one of my stories—can't resist the quirky adventure! |
| Abraham Lincoln | Burning Man | Baby Jumping | While Baby Jumping is quite the quirky tradition, Burning Man's wild creativity and communal vibes would have blown my honest stovepipe hat right off. |
 | Jensen Huang | La Tomatina | Baby Jumping | La Tomatina is a wild, messy celebration of life with tomatoes that just screams fun, while Baby Jumping is a bit too much of a leap for me. |
 | John von Neumann | Elvis Impersonators | Baby Jumping | Elvis Impersonators keep the groove alive, while Baby Jumping seems like a risky leap for little ones. |
 | Pythagoras | Elvis Impersonators | Baby Jumping | Hands down, Elvis Impersonators are the kings because they've got the rhythm and the style that's timeless, unlike leaping over babies which is just plain risky business. |
 | Nerds | Burning Man | Baby Jumping | Burning Man's got way more vibes and creativity, while baby jumping's just a wild one-off spectacle. |
| Tim Berners-Lee | Burning Man | Baby Jumping | Burning Man is a wild mashup of art, community, and self-expression that's just more my vibe compared to jumping over babies. |
| Galileo | Cheese Rolling | Baby Jumping | Cheese Rolling's all about that wild, adrenaline-pumping chase down a hill, while Baby Jumping's just plain nuts! |
 | Lonnie Johnson | Elvis Impersonators | Baby Jumping | I gotta say, Elvis Impersonators rock the house way more than some folks hoppin' over babies; it’s all about the rhythm, man! |
 | Klaus Teuber | Oktoberfest | Baby Jumping | Oktoberfest's all about camaraderie and celebration, much like the spirit of board games, whereas baby jumping is just too niche and risky for my taste. |
 | Ada Lovelace | Elvis Impersonators | Baby Jumping | Elvis Impersonators bring the hunk-a hunk-a burning love with style and flair, while baby jumping just sounds risky and totally bananas. |