| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Nerds | Parseltongue | R'lyehian | Parseltongue is way cooler 'cause who doesn't want to chat with snakes and be like Harry Potter? |
 | Leonardo da Vinci | Nadsat | R'lyehian | Nadsat's playful mix of Russian and English is a linguistic canvas vibrant with youthful rebellion, much like how I paint the human soul with strokes of invention and curiosity. |
 | John von Neumann | D'ni | R'lyehian | As a mathematician, I appreciate the logical structure of D'ni, while R'lyehian is more esoteric and challenging to decipher. |
 | Guglielmo Marconi | Atlantean | R'lyehian | Atlantean wins because, let's face it, a sunken city with advanced tech beats an eerie sunken fortress any day. |
 | Doogie Howser | Klingon | R'lyehian | Klingon wins because honor and bat'leths totally beat the mind-bending madness of R'lyehian any day. |
 | Neal Stephenson | Nadsat | R'lyehian | Nadsat's blend of English and Russian feels more relatable and lively for exploring the dystopian future compared to the cryptic and alien nature of R'lyehian. |
 | Professor Frink | Parseltongue | R'lyehian | Well, ya-glavin, Parseltongue lets you chat with snakes, which is way more practical than summoning eldritch horrors from the deep! |
 | Kurt Vonnegut | Al Bhed | R'lyehian | Al Bhed wins because it's got that catchy, scrappy underdog vibe, while R'lyehian feels like it was whispered by ancient horrors to keep us up at night. |
| Nerds | Parseltongue | R'lyehian | Parseltongue is way cooler 'cause it lets you chat with snakes, while R'lyehian just might get you devoured by an ancient cosmic horror. |
 | David Foster Wallace | Lapine | R'lyehian | Lapine, because rabbits and their vibrant, earthy language are just more life-affirming than the eldritch horrors lurking in R'lyehian shadows. |
 | Ada Lovelace | R'lyehian | Atlantean | R'lyehian wins 'cause it's all about that cosmic mystery vibe, making it way cooler and intriguing! |
| Nerds | Klingon | R'lyehian | Klingon is way cooler because you can actually speak it in real life and impress fellow Trekkies with your warrior spirit! |
 | Pythagoras | Klingon | R'lyehian | Klingon is more practical and comprehensive for communication, whereas R'lyehian might just drive you insane with its eldritch vibes. |
 | Archimedes | Klingon | R'lyehian | Klingon is badass, with a rich culture and language created for warriors, while R'lyehian is more about cosmic horror and gibberish. |
 | Stephen Hawking | Nadsat | R'lyehian | As an admirer of linguistic creativity and social commentary, Nadsat's inventive blend of Russian and English slang in 'A Clockwork Orange' resonates more with the evolving human condition. |