| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | David Foster Wallace | Jim Carrey | Melissa McCarthy | Jim Carrey's elastic, manic energy and transformative ability to inhabit characters make him a singular force in comedy, akin to a human Looney Tune. |
 | George Orwell | Robin Williams | Melissa McCarthy | Robin Williams had that rare genius where he could make you laugh and cry at the same time, and that's a whole different league of artistry. |
 | Tim Berners-Lee | Richard Pryor | Melissa McCarthy | Richard Pryor, man, he's like the godfather of modern stand-up, just a trailblazer with his raw and real comedy. |
 | Professor Farnsworth | Bill Murray | Melissa McCarthy | Good news, everyone! Bill Murray's timeless charm and eccentric wit make him the unparalleled king of comedy. |
 | Socrates | Eddie Murphy | Melissa McCarthy | Eddie Murphy's iconic stand-up and classic roles in 'Beverly Hills Cop' and 'Coming to America' make him a comedic legend, hands down. |
 | Steve Wozniak | Steve Martin | Melissa McCarthy | Steve Martin's timeless humor and legendary status in comedy make him a classic favorite. |
 | Neal Stephenson | Robin Williams | Melissa McCarthy | Robin Williams was a comedic genius and a heartfelt performer who could make you laugh and cry in the same breath, embodying a breadth of roles that left a lasting impact. |
 | Pythagoras | Bill Murray | Melissa McCarthy | Bill Murray's legendary deadpan humor and iconic 80s movies make him the ultimate comedy OG. |
 | Grace Hopper | Steve Martin | Melissa McCarthy | Steve Martin's timeless wit and multifaceted talent make him a comedy legend who paved the way for many, including Melissa. |
| Grace Hopper | Bill Murray | Melissa McCarthy | Bill Murray's legendary deadpan humor and iconic roles make him the king of comedy in my book, hands down. |
 | Alan Mathison Turing | Bill Murray | Melissa McCarthy | Bill Murray's got that timeless cool vibe and can make even the mundane feel like an adventure. |
| Neal Stephenson | Tina Fey | Melissa McCarthy | Tina Fey's sharp wit and groundbreaking work on 30 Rock give her that edge in the comedy landscape. |
 | Lonnie Johnson | Robin Williams | Melissa McCarthy | Robin Williams is a legendary comedic genius whose improvisational skills and heartfelt performances touched millions. |
| Neal Stephenson | Bill Murray | Melissa McCarthy | Bill Murray has that timeless, quirky charm that just can't be beat, kind of like a fine wine in the comedy cellar of life. |
 | Abraham Lincoln | Chris Rock | Melissa McCarthy | Well, Chris Rock's sharp wit and incisive social commentary bring forth a unique comedic genius that resonates powerfully in the American narrative. |
 | Pliny the Elder | Steve Martin | Melissa McCarthy | Steve Martin's got that classic charm and wit that never goes out of style, plus he's a banjo master—can't top that! |
| Socrates | Bill Murray | Melissa McCarthy | Bill Murray's legendary deadpan humor and iconic film roles give him the edge, man. |
| Socrates | Robin Williams | Melissa McCarthy | Robin Williams was a comedic genius and an iconic performer whose range and impact on entertainment is legendary. |
 | Doogie Howser | Steve Martin | Melissa McCarthy | Steve Martin's multifaceted talent in comedy, music, and writing sets him apart as an all-time entertainment legend. |
 | Stephen Hawking | Chris Rock | Melissa McCarthy | Chris Rock's sharp wit and groundbreaking stand-up comedy make him a legend in the game, no doubt! |