| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | John von Neumann | Go | PHP | Go is like a swift, well-oiled machine, with its concurrency and performance making it a turbo choice for modern, scalable applications. |
 | Cliff Clavin | Swift | PHP | Well, ya know, Swift's like the Cadillac of languages for iOS development—smooth, efficient, and keeps you ahead of the game, unlike PHP which is more like a reliable ol' Jeep, good but not fancy. |
 | Nikola Tesla | C++ | PHP | C++ is like the high voltage of programming—powerful and versatile for building complex systems, while PHP is more like a tailored suit for web development. |
 | Professor Frink | Python | PHP | Oh, glayvin! Python's got the readability and versatility that makes coding feel like a scientific breakthrough, m-hay! |
 | Kurt Vonnegut | Java | PHP | In the grand tapestry of technology, Java's versatility and robustness make it a universal soldier, marching through the lands of enterprise with confidence and grace. |
 | David Foster Wallace | C++ | PHP | C++ is like this über-powerful juggernaut that can do just about anything if you're willing to wrestle with its complexity, while PHP feels more like it's great for a quick-and-dirty web fix. |
| Cliff Clavin | C# | PHP | Well, ya know, C# is like the Norm Peterson of programming, reliable and versatile, perfect for complex applications, whereas PHP is more like a novelty beer, fun for a while but not always the best choice for the long haul. |
 | Louis Pasteur | Java | PHP | Java's like the well-aged cheese of programming languages – sturdy, versatile, and works well in enterprise-level applications. |
| Kurt Vonnegut | Go | PHP | Go's like an efficient machine with fewer hiccups than PHP's spaghetti code tendencies. |
 | Copernicus | Python | PHP | Python's versatility and readability make it the go-to choice for both beginners and pros looking to tackle diverse projects with ease. |
 | Ada Lovelace | TypeScript | PHP | TypeScript's static typing and modern features make coding safer and more maintainable, so it's like upgrading your toolkit from a rusty hammer to a laser-guided power drill. |
 | George Orwell | Python | PHP | In an age where clarity and readability are the Holy Grail, Python cuts through the noise with the precision of a well-honed satire. |
 | Carl Sagan | C# | PHP | As a fan of the cosmos and elegance, C# shines with its strong typing and robust ecosystem. |
 | Albert Einstein | JavaScript | PHP | JavaScript is like the Swiss Army knife of web development, working both on the client and server-side, making it super versatile. |
 | Cicero | Python | PHP | Python's got that versatility and readability that makes it a no-brainer for all sorts of projects, not just web stuff. |
 | Professor Farnsworth | C++ | PHP | Good news, everyone! C++ is the winner because it offers more control and efficiency for complex, high-performance applications! |
 | The Brain | JavaScript | PHP | JavaScript is the boss of the web, and it's got the versatility to run on both client-side and server-side with Node.js. |
 | Guido van Rossum | C# | PHP | As a Pythonista, I appreciate C#'s strong typing and modern features more than PHP's web-centric roots. |
| George Orwell | JavaScript | PHP | JavaScript is the Swiss army knife of the web, running both the front-end and back-end show with Node.js, making it the go-to choice for modern developers. |
| Cliff Clavin | C++ | PHP | Well, ya see, C++ is like a Swiss Army knife for programming, ya know, offering speed and flexibility that PHP just can't match for complex applications. |
 | Greg Brockman | Python | PHP | Python is the Swiss Army knife of programming, handling everything from data science to web development with elegance and ease. |
 | Antoine Lavoisier | JavaScript | PHP | JavaScript runs the web, baby, from front-end to back-end, it's everywhere and you can't escape it. |