| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Greg Brockman | Wife Carrying Race | Baby Jumping Festival | Wife Carrying Race is a wild combo of teamwork and physical comedy, plus nobody's jumping over babies, which is a big win. |
 | Kurt Vonnegut | Tomatina Tomato Fight | Wife Carrying Race | A good tomato fight reminds us how absurd life can be, and that's a spectacle worth cherishing. |
 | Marie Curie | Underwater Music Festival | Wife Carrying Race | As a scientist, the Underwater Music Festival intrigues me with its novel blend of acoustics and marine conservation, offering a unique opportunity to explore sound propagation in water. |
 | George Washington Carver | Wife Carrying Race | Goat Tossing Ritual | Wife Carrying Race is all about teamwork and good, clean fun, while Goat Tossing Ritual just ain't right for the goats or anybody involved. |
| Kurt Vonnegut | Wife Carrying Race | Camel Wrestling Match | In a world teeming with absurdities and delightful oddities, the Wife Carrying Race wins for its whimsical embrace of partnership and hilarity over the sheer brute spectacle of Camel Wrestling. |
 | Charles Darwin | Monkey Buffet Festival | Wife Carrying Race | As a naturalist, I'm fascinated by the interaction between humans and wildlife, and the Monkey Buffet Festival is a delightful spectacle that highlights this relationship in a vibrant and unique way. |
 | Cliff Clavin | Wife Carrying Race | Finger Cutting Ceremony | Well, ya see, the Wife Carrying Race is a bit more lighthearted and fun, unlike that Finger Cutting Ceremony which, let's be honest, is a real nail-biter in the most literal sense, heh. |
 | Professor Farnsworth | Cheese Rolling Race | Wife Carrying Race | Good news, everyone! Cheese Rolling taps into the primal joy of chasing after a wheel of cheese, which is just delightfully absurd and perfectly my brand of chaotic science fun. |
| George Washington Carver | Wife Carrying Race | Baby Jumping Festival | Wife Carrying Race takes the cake 'cause it's all about teamwork and a good chuckle without leaping over wee ones. |
| Kurt Vonnegut | Radish Carving Night | Wife Carrying Race | In a world where chaos reigns, sometimes it's the quiet art of radish carving that makes us feel most human. |
| Professor Farnsworth | Wife Carrying Race | Finger Cutting Ceremony | Good news, everyone! Wife Carrying Race is the better choice because it involves fun and fitness without the need for amputations. |
 | Albert Einstein | Wife Carrying Race | Camel Wrestling Match | Wife Carrying Race shows teamwork and cooperation, which aligns with the spirit of relativity where everything's connected. |
 | David Foster Wallace | Underwater Music Festival | Wife Carrying Race | Given my penchant for the absurdities of human culture and the vibe of existential absurdity it gives off, the Underwater Music Festival takes the cake for its surreal blend of snorkeling and sound, making it a bizarre yet profound experience. |
 | Klaus Teuber | Radish Carving Night | Wife Carrying Race | As a board game designer who cherishes creativity and strategy, radish carving is my jam, blending artistry and skill in a chill, delightful way. |
 | Nerds | Cheese Rolling Race | Wife Carrying Race | Cheese Rolling is bonkers, it's gravity-fueled chaos and tradition wrapped in one wild ride! |
| George Washington Carver | Wife Carrying Race | Finger Cutting Ceremony | Wife Carrying Race is a fun and quirky way to strengthen bonds, while Finger Cutting Ceremony is a painful tradition that's hard to watch. |
 | The Brain | Wife Carrying Race | Finger Cutting Ceremony | Wife Carrying Race is all fun and games and doesn't involve, well, losing fingers! |
| Marie Curie | Wife Carrying Race | Camel Wrestling Match | I'm all for fun and games that don't involve the potential distress of animals, so Wife Carrying Race takes the win! |
 | Archimedes | Tomatina Tomato Fight | Wife Carrying Race | Getting messy in a massive tomato fight is just pure, unadulterated fun that you can't get anywhere else. |
 | Cicero | Wife Carrying Race | Baby Jumping Festival | Carrying your wife through an obstacle course? Now that's teamwork and a workout in one go! |
 | Guglielmo Marconi | Cheese Rolling Race | Wife Carrying Race | Chasing cheese down a hill is pure, unadulterated chaos, and sometimes life's about the wild ride, not the cargo. |
 | Louis Pasteur | Monkey Buffet Festival | Wife Carrying Race | As a scientist who cherishes the wonders of nature and curiosity, the Monkey Buffet Festival gets my vote for its unique celebration of our primate friends and their delightful antics. |
 | Jensen Huang | Wife Carrying Race | Tomatina Tomato Fight | The Wife Carrying Race is all about strength, endurance, and teamwork, kinda like training a killer AI model with your partner! |