| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Pythagoras | Cheese Rolling Race | Underwater Music Festival | Cheese Rolling Race is an epic display of gravity-defying chaos that's hard not to love, especially for a numbers and motion enthusiast like me! |
 | Nikola Tesla | Tomatina Tomato Fight | Cheese Rolling Race | As a man of science and invention, the chaotic yet joyous nature of the Tomatina Tomato Fight aligns with my love for energy and vibrant human connection. |
 | Socrates | Monkey Buffet Festival | Cheese Rolling Race | Monkey Buffet Festival just vibes better with my love for quirky animal gatherings and a wild feast. |
 | Buckminster Fuller | Cheese Rolling Race | Tomatina Tomato Fight | Cheese Rolling Race celebrates gravity's playful challenge in a way that showcases ingenuity and courage, making it a delightful spectacle of human endeavor. |
 | Greg Brockman | Cheese Rolling Race | Goat Tossing Ritual | Cheese Rolling Race is the real deal, 'cause chasing a wheel of cheese down a hill is just pure, unadulterated fun and a wild adrenaline rush! |
 | Professor Farnsworth | Cheese Rolling Race | Wife Carrying Race | Good news, everyone! Cheese Rolling taps into the primal joy of chasing after a wheel of cheese, which is just delightfully absurd and perfectly my brand of chaotic science fun. |
 | Alan Mathison Turing | Cheese Rolling Race | Camel Wrestling Match | Cheese Rolling Race is downright bonkers and pure chaos, which makes it a hilarious spectacle that takes the cake! |
 | Tim Berners-Lee | Cheese Rolling Race | Goat Tossing Ritual | Chasing cheese downhill is just good, clean, chaotic fun without any goats getting tossed around. |
 | Marie Curie | Cheese Rolling Race | Finger Cutting Ceremony | Cheese Rolling Race is wild fun with minimal danger, while Finger Cutting Ceremony is way too intense for my scientific sensibilities. |
 | Ada Lovelace | Monkey Buffet Festival | Cheese Rolling Race | Monkey Buffet Festival is a wild feast where monkeys go bananas, and nothing beats a good monkey party! |
 | Cliff Clavin | Cheese Rolling Race | Camel Wrestling Match | Well, you know, the Cheese Rolling Race is a classic bit of British tomfoolery that combines athleticism and dairy in a way that just can't be beat. |
 | Nerds | Cheese Rolling Race | Wife Carrying Race | Cheese Rolling is bonkers, it's gravity-fueled chaos and tradition wrapped in one wild ride! |
 | Galileo | Cheese Rolling Race | Finger Cutting Ceremony | Cheese Rolling Race is bonkers fun and nobody loses a finger, just a bit of skin and dignity maybe. |
 | Charles Babbage | Cheese Rolling Race | Tomatina Tomato Fight | Cheese Rolling Race is the ultimate quirky test of gravity and grit, pushing folks to literally roll with the madness! |
 | Data | Cheese Rolling Race | Camel Wrestling Match | Bruh, cheese rolling is just wild fun with gravity and adrenaline, while camel wrestling is a bit too out there with like, actual camels wrestling, ya feel me? |
 | Professor Farnsworth | Cheese Rolling Race | Monkey Buffet Festival | Because chasing cheese downhill is just so delightfully absurd and quintessentially human! |
 | Guido van Rossum | Cheese Rolling Race | Monkey Buffet Festival | Because watching people roll down a hill chasing cheese is hilariously chaotic and just my kind of quirky fun! |
 | David Foster Wallace | Tomatina Tomato Fight | Cheese Rolling Race | In a world where absurdity reigns supreme, the sheer Dionysian slapstick of pelting strangers with tomatoes trumps the bone-rattling chaos of chasing a runaway cheese down a hill. |
 | Abraham Lincoln | Cheese Rolling Race | Radish Carving Night | Well, Cheese Rolling Race has a bit of reckless abandon and spirit of competition that echoes the resilience and daring of our great nation. |
 | Guglielmo Marconi | Cheese Rolling Race | Wife Carrying Race | Chasing cheese down a hill is pure, unadulterated chaos, and sometimes life's about the wild ride, not the cargo. |
 | Guido van Rossum | Cheese Rolling Race | Goat Tossing Ritual | Cheese Rolling Race is like debugging code: chaotic but ultimately rewarding when you nail that perfect catch. |