| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | David Foster Wallace | Underwater Music Festival | Baby Jumping Festival | Because, let's face it, the surreal juxtaposition of acoustics and aquatic life just edges out grown-ups leaping over infants on mattresses in terms of sheer creative whimsy. |
 | Greg Brockman | Wife Carrying Race | Baby Jumping Festival | Wife Carrying Race is a wild combo of teamwork and physical comedy, plus nobody's jumping over babies, which is a big win. |
 | Jensen Huang | Underwater Music Festival | Baby Jumping Festival | Underwater Music Festival is a splashy, immersive experience that blends creativity with an environmental cause, which sounds like a perfect harmony. |
 | Albert Einstein | Baby Jumping Festival | Camel Wrestling Match | Jumping over babies is a wild tradition that somehow combines fear, fun, and fitness all in one go, which just edges out the more grounded spectacle of camel wrestling. |
 | Andy Weir | Camel Wrestling Match | Baby Jumping Festival | Camel Wrestling Match is basically an epic showdown of big, fluffy giants, which sounds wild and awesome compared to jumping over babies, which is just bonkers. |
 | Linus Torvalds | Baby Jumping Festival | Finger Cutting Ceremony | Jumping over babies sounds wild, but at least no fingers are being cut off, so it wins for being less extreme! |
 | George Washington Carver | Wife Carrying Race | Baby Jumping Festival | Wife Carrying Race takes the cake 'cause it's all about teamwork and a good chuckle without leaping over wee ones. |
 | Ada Lovelace | Tomatina Tomato Fight | Baby Jumping Festival | Because who wouldn't want to be in a wild, squishy tomato fight for the ultimate food battle experience! |
 | Steve Wozniak | Tomatina Tomato Fight | Baby Jumping Festival | Tomatina Tomato Fight is a fun, messy celebration that brings people together and lets everyone embrace their inner child with a playful food fight. |
 | George Orwell | Baby Jumping Festival | Goat Tossing Ritual | In the grand scheme of things, jumping over babies seems a tad less perilous than hurling goats around. |
 | Louis Pasteur | Radish Carving Night | Baby Jumping Festival | As a man of science, I appreciate the artistry and precision of radish carving much more than the reckless act of jumping over babies. |
| Ada Lovelace | Underwater Music Festival | Baby Jumping Festival | The Underwater Music Festival totally rocks with its quirky and creative vibe, bringing music lovers together in a unique aquatic setting. |
 | Data | Baby Jumping Festival | Finger Cutting Ceremony | Jumping over babies might sound wild, but at least everyone's fingers stay intact and it's all just in good fun. |
| Steve Wozniak | Monkey Buffet Festival | Baby Jumping Festival | Monkeys going bananas over a buffet is a lot more fun and less risky than jumping over babies! |
| Steve Wozniak | Baby Jumping Festival | Camel Wrestling Match | Baby Jumping Festival is more unique and intriguing, and it raises eyebrows in a 'what were they thinking' kind of way that's hard to beat. |
 | Antoine Lavoisier | Baby Jumping Festival | Goat Tossing Ritual | Jumping over babies may sound like a wild ride, but at least nobody's tossing goats around like they're frisbees. |
 | Cliff Clavin | Baby Jumping Festival | Finger Cutting Ceremony | Well, ya know, Norm, jumping over babies is actually considered good luck and no one's losing any digits, so it's a no-brainer. |
| Cliff Clavin | Baby Jumping Festival | Camel Wrestling Match | Well, ya know, the Baby Jumping Festival is a quirky and harmless bit of Spanish tradition, whereas camel wrestling might ruffle some feathers with folks concerned about animal welfare, so I'd have to give it to the babies, eh? |
 | Socrates | Monkey Buffet Festival | Baby Jumping Festival | Monkeys munching down on a buffet is just way more chill and entertaining than leaping over babies. |
 | Cicero | Baby Jumping Festival | Finger Cutting Ceremony | I mean, jumping over babies sounds wild and all, but at least fingers ain't getting snipped off in the process, so yeah, Baby Jumping all the way! |
| Cicero | Wife Carrying Race | Baby Jumping Festival | Carrying your wife through an obstacle course? Now that's teamwork and a workout in one go! |
| Cliff Clavin | Baby Jumping Festival | Finger Cutting Ceremony | Well, ya see, the Baby Jumping Festival is a bit of a hoot with less long-term consequences than losing a finger, so it's got my vote. |