| Image | Voter | Winner | Loser | Reason |
|---|
 | Kurt Vonnegut | Easy-Bake Oven | Aqua Dots | While Aqua Dots might make you feel like a little chemist, the Easy-Bake Oven lets you bake a tiny cake with a lightbulb, and that's pure magic, isn't it? |
 | Galileo | Snacktime Cabbage Patch | Aqua Dots | Snacktime Cabbage Patch may have caused some hair-raising incidents, but at least they didn't turn bath time into a fainting spell like Aqua Dots! |
 | Charles Darwin | Sky Dancers | Aqua Dots | Sky Dancers soared to fame with their fun, harmless flight, while Aqua Dots got recalled faster than you can say 'safety hazard'. |
 | Louis Pasteur | Aqua Dots | Yo-Yo Water Ball | Given the safety concerns around both, Aqua Dots are better because at least they won't bounce back and smack you in the face! |
 | Greg Brockman | Hannah Montana Pop Star Card Game | Aqua Dots | Hannah Montana Pop Star Card Game wins because it's all about jamming with Miley, and nothing beats a good Disney Channel throwback sesh! |
 | Alan Mathison Turing | Aqua Dots | Lawn Darts | Aqua Dots won't send you to the ER with a hole in your head, so they win by keeping the fun without the freaky injuries. |
| Charles Darwin | Hannah Montana Pop Star Card Game | Aqua Dots | Hannah Montana Pop Star Card Game rocks the house with nostalgia and pop culture vibes, dude! |
 | Pythagoras | Lawn Darts | Aqua Dots | Lawn Darts, because they let you enjoy the outdoors while testing your aim and skill, and who doesn't love a good challenge? |
 | Cliff Clavin | Snacktime Cabbage Patch | Aqua Dots | Well, ya know, Snacktime Cabbage Patch dolls don't turn into, uh, toxic goo when you eat 'em, unlike those Aqua Dots. |
| Cliff Clavin | Easy-Bake Oven | Aqua Dots | Well, ya see, the Easy-Bake Oven's got that nostalgia factor and lets kids bake their first cake, whereas Aqua Dots, well, they had that recall snafu, so ya gotta go with the safer bet, which is the oven. |
 | David Foster Wallace | Fidget Spinners | Aqua Dots | Fidget Spinners win because they don't have the unfortunate habit of turning into GHB when swallowed, plus they're a zen-like way to channel nervous energy. |
 | Claude Shannon | Magnetix Magnetic Building Set | Aqua Dots | Magnetix is less likely to have a major recall due to kids swallowing beads that turn into glue in the stomach, so it's the safer bet. |
 | Carl Sagan | Aqua Dots | Lawn Darts | While both Aqua Dots and Lawn Darts have had their share of safety concerns, Aqua Dots facilitate creativity and imagination without risking impalement—an important consideration in our cosmic journey for responsible fun. |
 | Neal Stephenson | Hannah Montana Pop Star Card Game | Aqua Dots | Hannah Montana Pop Star Card Game wins because it's a safer choice that doesn't involve toxic chemicals turning into a drug if ingested, unlike Aqua Dots. |
 | Professor Frink | Sky Dancers | Aqua Dots | Sky Dancers take off with a woosh and a whirl, providing soaring fun, unlike Aqua Dots which had that whole 'don't eat them' debacle, mm-hai. |
 | Andy Weir | Sky Dancers | Aqua Dots | Sky Dancers are like tiny helicopters for kids, way more fun than Aqua Dots which, let's face it, got recalled for a reason. |
 | Grace Hopper | Easy-Bake Oven | Aqua Dots | The Easy-Bake Oven wins because baking tiny cakes beats hazardous toys any day! |
| Greg Brockman | Magnetix Magnetic Building Set | Aqua Dots | Magnetix are super cool for building and creativity, plus they don't have the safety issues that Aqua Dots had. |
 | Socrates | Easy-Bake Oven | Aqua Dots | Easy-Bake Oven's all about creativity and tasty treats, whereas Aqua Dots got recalled 'cause they turned into a date-rape drug when swallowed—yikes! |
 | Nerds | Fidget Spinners | Aqua Dots | Fidget spinners are the ultimate stress busters that you can play with anywhere, unlike Aqua Dots which caused that wild controversy back in the day. |
| Cliff Clavin | Sky Dancers | Aqua Dots | Well, ya know, Sky Dancers take the cake 'cause they fly through the air like little helicopters, and who doesn't love a toy that can defy gravity, eh? |
 | Guido van Rossum | Easy-Bake Oven | Aqua Dots | Easy-Bake Oven is the OG toy that lets you bake real cakes using a light bulb, bringing out the inner nerdy chef in every kid! |
 | Charles Babbage | Hannah Montana Pop Star Card Game | Aqua Dots | Hannah Montana Pop Star Card Game is the way to go 'cause it doesn't come with the drama of a product recall like those dodgy Aqua Dots. |
| Nerds | Sky Dancers | Aqua Dots | Sky Dancers are fly and nostalgic, while Aqua Dots had that recall fiasco. |
 | Larry Page | Magnetix Magnetic Building Set | Aqua Dots | Magnetix Magnetic Building Set wins because the building possibilities are endless and there are no safety recalls sticking around. |
| Charles Darwin | Lawn Darts | Aqua Dots | Lawn Darts are the ultimate backyard thrill, turning every toss into a daring battle against gravity and good sense. |
| Carl Sagan | Aqua Dots | Yo-Yo Water Ball | Aqua Dots open up a world of creativity and imagination, which is totally my jam. |